Episode 464: A Birthday Episode: A Reflection on Growth, Meaning & Trusting Myself

Jamila Souffrant 0:02

Listen this journey as much as it is an outward one, where you're doing the work, you're making more money, you are being more efficient with spending. You are investing, paying off debt, saving. There's a lot of external things that happen, but there's so much of internal work that needs to happen too.

Intro 0:21

Minus 10 seconds, welcome to the journey to launch podcast with your host Jamila Souffrant as a money expert who wants her talk she helps brave journeyers like you get out of debt, save, invest and build real wealth. Join her on the journey to launch to financial freedom.

Jamila Souffrant 0:50

If you want the episode show notes for this episode, go to journey to launch.com or click the description of wherever you're listening to this episode in the show notes, you'll get the transcribed version of the conversation, the links that we mentioned, and so much more also, whether you are an OG journeyer or brand new to the podcast, I've created a free jumpstart guide to help you on your financial freedom journey. It includes the top episodes to listen to, stages to go through to reach financial freedom resources and so much more you can go to journey to launch.com/jumpstart to get your guide right now. Okay, let's hop into the episode. Hey, hey, hey, journeyers, welcome to the journey to launch podcast. I am your host, Jamila Souffrant, and I'm so grateful that you can join me today, whenever you're listening to this, I am appreciative that you are taking the time to spend that with me. Now, if you are looking for a more finance related specific episode, there are tons of episodes to scroll through. This will just be a sole episode of me chatting for a bit. It's actually hopefully going to be short because I am celebrating my birthday this week. My birthday is February 6, and while this episode comes out a little bit before then, if you're listening to this in real time, I always like to kind of just celebrate my birthday as a week in terms of slowing down and doing things that I like doing. And with that, I wanted to record a birthday episode. I usually like to do these kind of check in and give updates on where I am, but this time, I thought maybe for me, especially in the season of life that I'm in, to do more of a reflection episode, leaving it more open. I'm going to be asking questions to myself, and hopefully these questions are things you can relate to or take some time to answer for yourself. But birthdays always give me more pause. I don't know about you, sometimes I get a little sad about my birthday. I don't know if that's normal thing. Sometimes I think it's because I am in the northeast and I have a February birthday, and God bless us with the January and February birthdays if you live in the northeast, because it's usually cold and dreary. And right now we are facing just a brutal winter, and it's been freezing for the last week or so, and we've had a storm. The ice is still outside. It's not melting, it's just getting dirtier. And while I'm not complaining, because these are first world problems, this is just a reality of my life right now, and so I always feel that I have to try a little bit harder around these months in order to feel more joy, right? I have to be more intentional with where I put my energy, because I find that the winter months can just feel draining and the coldness of it, right? But I don't want to sit there. I don't want to dwell in something I can't change, and that's the kind of perspective I like to use in my overall life. And then on top of it, it's my birthday, so I really try to think and reflect around this time and be grateful for just being able to be where I am. I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life, for you journeyers who tune in and send me messages and just for all the support and this platform and community that I've been able to create and we've created together, I really, really, really appreciate that, and honestly, this year just feels different getting older. Still can't believe I'm in my 40s, and I'm just like, again, I've said this before, but who left me in charge. Sometimes I still feel like a teenager and not a delusional like I know that I am in my 40s, so I'm not delusional where I think I'm young. It's more of I just time the way it flows, the way the things that I remember looking forward to. Or being afraid of or things in my life, right? That I thought when I looked forward what my life would be in my 40s like now I am here, and I really try to stay true and appreciative, because I know that whatever I'm feeling now and when I'm thinking about my life in the future, God willing, when I become 50, 6070, years old, I'll look back and say, Wow, your 40s was the time to be alive, and so to have that perspective. Just try to keep that with me, especially around this time of year. Now, the one thing I feel like I just like to be honest about is not having it all figured out. Even at my big old age, I just like to say, I do not have it figured out. I have frameworks and I have, I think, the big pieces in my life really solid when it comes to family, health, knock on wood, and even career right like, I feel really solid with what I've built here for journey to launch, and I find that what I'm working towards now at this stage of my life is the smaller things and being like the everyday, happier involved and feeling alive, especially again, around this time of year where it's cold and dreary, and I know it's only it's only for a short period. Hopefully we'll get back to spring and warmer weather and my mood will change, but I just really like to to around this time of year, reflect and notice where I am, and then also just understanding where I am and knowing that there's so much unfinished things to do, but not wanting to feel the pressure of that. Leaning into the unknown, leaning into being open to learning and new opportunities and rest not knowing is also okay. And so I want this episode. It's going to be short, but I want to be a more reflective episode where I'm going to ask some questions to myself, I'm probably I'm not going to be able to probably answer them, but there I'm literally going to be asking these questions to myself as I enter a new year of my life. And perhaps these questions might ground and help you to as you sit and think about it. But some of the topics I just wanted to go over, it's just like what I'm holding at this point in my life, like a space I'm holding, thinking about what feels unclear. I'm going to share some of that, and then also thinking about what I'm leaving open, what I am open to exploring, and more. So if that feels like where you're at right now in your life, whether it's your birthday or not, just stay tuned. But let's go to what I'm holding, what I feel like I'm holding space for, and what I really am holding space for. What I really value right now in my life is flexibility and that autonomy over my time, my energy and my work. Now, at one point, 10 years ago, and even further, when I first started journey to launching this journey, I didn't have as much control over my time, my energy and work, and now that I have that time, energy and flexibility, where I control it a bit more. I love it. I love it because of the stage of life I'm in. I love it because it's required for me and my family with raising children who are very active, who need to be picked up by two o'clock, where I have such a short work day, and they have after school activities and all these things that I have to do. So I just couldn't imagine not having the flexibility to do it. Now, of course, I know there's so many working moms and dads who don't have this flexibility, which is why whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, I give myself time to you know, I can feel overwhelmed and in bad moods too, but I try to remember how lucky I am to have this this position in my life. So I'm holding space for that, and I'm so appreciative of that, and I'm holding space for the more choices that I have, and holding that perspective when I'm not feeling the best or when I'm over something like me, even if I don't want to do something for a journey to launch, I think to myself, well, you could be commuting two hours one way, like you used to, right? Like, suck it up buttercup, get it done. And so I am holding that space and appreciating it more than ever at this point in my life. And some questions that I'm asking myself, and maybe you can ask yourself too, is, what do I have right now that once felt far away?

Jamila Souffrant 9:36

So you can ask yourself that, what do you have right now that once felt far away, or something you were once looking forward to that you have right now. And I can think of a bunch of things for me, but the biggest one is this flexibility that I have. The other reflection question that I'm asking myself, where in my life do I feel more spacious than I used to? I definitely feel more spacious with my time. So much so that sometimes I worry that I'm wasting it, and maybe not just wasting it, but that time is a luxury. I think the biggest indicator of wealth is how someone can spend their time and not be stressed about it, and so I do feel very spacious in that, and that feels good. But what about yourself? Think about that in your life. Where do you feel more spacious in your life than used to? The other reflection question here for this section is, what am I no longer willing to sacrifice just to feel like I'm moving forward? This is a big one. I think, what am I no longer willing to sacrifice just to feel like I'm moving forward and want you to sit there, but it can, for example, be busy work or perception from others, like what people see or what other people deem as success. As it relates to you, giving up something for yourself could be many things, but what for you does that look like? What are you no longer willing to do in order to look like you're moving forward? So those are the reflection questions I think about what I'm holding space for. Hey, journeyers, if you are loving this podcast, then you will love my book your journey to financial freedom, a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness. I wrote this book for you. This book is for you if you want a clear and enjoyable path to having more money options and a rich life. This book is for you if you hate your commute and the fact that you need to seek approval or permission from a boss. I hated that when I worked this book is for you. If you weren't born into wealth, you didn't marry rich or won the lottery, but you still want freedom. This book is for you. If you're at a crossroads, a major decision or event is imminent, maybe a career change, marriage, starting a family, pressures are reaching a tipping point, and the discomfort and the desire for more can no longer be ignored, and this book is for you. If you find yourself zoned out at meetings, looking out the window or daydreaming about the life you truly want. So go pick up your journey to financial freedom.com. So I can show you how to map out how to get from where you are today to where you ultimately want to be and enjoy the journey. While you're on the path, head over to your journey to financial freedom.com. To see where you can pick the book up. It's available on Amazon, bookshop.org, Barnes and Noble, your local bookstore everywhere. Go to your journey to financial freedom.com. To get the book now you Wow.

Jamila Souffrant 12:43

Now here is where we're getting a bit real for myself, at least, what feels unclear. So I want to be honest, like there's a lot of things that feel unclear right now as it relates to what I want to do in terms of my day to day and business, and I have so many things I can do. The thing is, I almost sometimes don't want to do it and or don't just feel like the energy to do it. And so thinking about, what are the things that motivate me? And sometimes it's not, it's not the same anymore. When I first started journey to launch, I was very motivated and excited about being in the media and getting and promoting my work so other people could find it. I had all the energy in the world to do that, and I'm just feeling even nowadays, it's just, it's not that I don't want to be recognized for my work. I'm just not motivated by those things anymore. I'm not as motivated to get my name mentioned in an article or even a news appearance like I've had inquiries and I've had things that have fell through and before, years ago, I'd have been like, upset about it, or been so excited thinking that was going to be one of the things that would put me over the edge. And now when things fall through, I'm just like, that's fine. I actually didn't want to do it anyway, or the energy that it would take to do it, I just I didn't have that to give anymore. So yeah, some things just don't motivate me as much, and I don't feel pulled one way or the other. If that makes sense. There were decisions that I used to make where it felt like this is totally right. I can only see me doing this right now, like it felt so good to do that thing. And I'm in a space right now where anything can feel good if I want it to feel good, so it's so it's an interesting place to be, because it really just is about what I want to focus on and do, and figuring that out. So it's a strange kind of emptiness that can show up when you're no longer chasing something, when you don't know what's next, like I don't have a name for it, and I talk about this in my book, Your journey to financial freedom, and I feel like that energy. Me that I put forth to quitting my job and saving all the money and getting to where I am. It motivated me. It gave me, like, a lot of power to do the things I was doing. And now that I'm in a space where I've achieved a lot of those things, I feel a bit complacent. And I don't know if that's a bad or good thing, it's just I just feel here. I have to lean into that feeling, because that's just where I am right now. So nothing feels broken, but there are things that feel unfinished, and I know that I can go in any direction to finish these things or to continue. But the question becomes like, what does that look like for me? And I have not been pulled in a strong direction yet, to say this is for sure what I want to do. So some reflection questions around this are what used to motivate me that does it anymore. And another question is, am I craving growth, or am I craving meaning? I definitely can say. I can answer this one right now. I'm not craving as much growth anymore, but definitely meaning. Again, these are questions you can also ask yourself. And then the other thing is, what questions keep coming back for me lately? So the why of life, the why of certain things that are happening, like, what come What? What keeps coming up? So I'm I'm leaning into not knowing, and I feel like I've been leaning into that for a while now. But it doesn't mean that I'm off track. It doesn't mean something is wrong with me. If you are feeling the same way, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. For me, it means paying attention and sitting in this and not feeling I need to do something in order to get things done. If that makes sense, it's almost like there are things happening for me and around me and that I put into motion already that are working right. And so I'm so used to doing all the work and moving my feet and moving my fingers and doing all the things where I'm not at that space anymore when I need to do it, so leaning into that and that feeling unclear, not necessarily finding a name for what that means, like where I am right now, but leaning into it so I can understand myself better now what I'm leaving open. So instead of forcing clarity, which I would love to like, wake up and know everything, every single thing I need to do to get to whatever destination I'm aiming for. And this is why I think, you know, I talk about this in the book. I talk about this in my work, if you take it any of my courses, creating a financial plan, a what I call the financial independence plan, and I have the fire Calc and these tools that I've used, and I've helped people use to create a broad roadmap, and I feel like I have the broad roadmap. And I've always, again, had the big things figured out. I talked about this in my last episode, you know, checking off the big list of, you know, my kids and my house and my husband and all the big things, I feel like I I want to make sure I feel fulfilled in and are clear or good, but then it's the little things that I'm finding and leaning into not necessarily having full clarity in. So what does that look like? So leaving things open, being open to discovering new things about myself, even when it comes to leaving open what my business can be and what I can talk about, and evolving so remembering that I'm the boss like I create the rules for this. No one is telling me what to do. I can create new rules for myself and practice free will. And so what does that look like? I don't know yet, but can I lean into and be open to new things and be open to what success looks like? Right? Like being appreciative of the success that I've created, but then also realizing that this ability to pause and not have clarity and still be able to pay the bills and come and have a community and talk to you guys, that's that's the level of success to be, to be happy about. So I'm leaving open the idea that everything has to be neatly packaged and perfect, because that's not my life, and embracing that, letting my curiosity lead me. I call it hyperlinks. If you read the book, your journey to financial freedom, where you know you something interests, you click on the hyperlink of a web page you're reading, and it takes you somewhere else that's interesting, and you you know, you get more interested, and you go to the next hyperlink, and you click on it, and before you know it, you're somewhere where you never imagined you'd be, but you're living and you're learning and you're enjoying whatever that is, but you wouldn't have known that if you didn't click on the first hyperlink and just explore your curiosity. So I'm looking forward to doing that, more of that as I move forward, and then trusting myself, trusting that the answers will show up when they need to show up the.

Jamila Souffrant 20:00

Master will appear when the student is ready, one of my favorite sayings. And so realizing that whatever I need and everything that I've needed thus far in my life has happened so lean into that your your discernment, your faith, has not steered you wrong. Yet, even if you've faltered or made mistakes, you've always ended where you didn't even know you'd want to be but you're you're okay, so realizing that's going to happen as I move forward, also right, trusting myself and so some reflection questions around that is, what am I allowed to not decide yet? What would it look like to give myself more time? Now, this is an interesting one, because I keep saying to myself, Okay, feel like last year, I was also pretty chill and unsure about what I wanted to do with my life, and I still feel the same way. But how much time do I give myself right? Like, how many years will I feel unclear, and how can I feel comfortable there in this position? And where can I follow energy instead of expectation, and not what other people think I should be doing, not what looks good, not what even I admire in other people. Because sometimes I will look at other people and whether that's social media or in real life, and I'm like, Oh, I love that about that person. They seem so put together. Maybe they have a hobby that they are just like, that looks amazing. I wish I could have a hobby too that I could really go fall into. But it doesn't mean I have to force it on myself, just because I enjoy someone else doing it right. And so thinking about, where can I just follow my own energy and what that looks like, instead of what I think looks good or what other people are expecting. So in closing, yes, it's my birthday. Well, birthday week, my birthday is on February 6, and if you've been listening for this whole time, I want to thank you for sticking around. If you've been listening from the very beginning, or maybe you just found me and you're going through all the episodes, I appreciate you. I hope you are able to glean some information and inspiration and practical tips to help you on your journey. Listen this journey as much as it is an outward one, where you're doing the work, you're making more money, you are being more efficient with spending. You are investing, paying off debt, saving. There's a lot of external things that happen, but there's so much of internal work that needs to happen too, because you're going to get to your goals, and you still have to live with yourself. You still have to live your life and be happy regardless of what the bank account says, regardless of who you owe or what you own. And so that's why I like to talk a lot about even my own journey, whether I have it figured out or not, and then also the internal work it takes, because I just know, honestly, that is the biggest part of this, is who are you becoming, and what does that journey look like for you? And so while I am now turning another year older, my gosh, I just I'm appreciative of where I am in life, and if you are in a similar, similar place. Hope this episode resonated with you. I will say this, I don't ask for much, but since it is my birthday, I'm going to ask for a little gift, and that gift is this, if you have been enjoying my work, here's a couple ways you can support me. Just share the podcast. Totally free for you to share the podcast if you're listening now an apple podcast, make sure you're following the podcast so that you get updates automatically on episodes, and then share it with a family member or friend. Biggest thing, big the free thing you can give me for as a birthday gift. And if you do that, even if you share it on your social media, just tag me at journey to launch at Jamila Souffrant. And you know, let me tell you thank you for the birthday gift. And then the other ways to do that is picking up my book, Your journey to financial freedom. The hardcover and paperback are currently out right now. You can get it wherever books are sold. Go to your journey to financial freedom.com. And if you did buy the book already, thank you. Please leave a review on Amazon or on Goodreads, wherever you bought the book from, that helps other people discover it. All right. With that, I just want again. Thank you. And I'm gonna enjoy I'm recording this before my birthday, so I make I have plans to enjoy my birthday week and weekend. I plan to eat at some of my favorite restaurants, maybe get a massage, get my nails done. Oh my gosh, I haven't gotten my nails done in so long. And just just embrace the beauty and the things that life has to offer. I'm truly grateful to see another year. Okay, until next week. Keep on journeying. Journeyers. Don't forget, you can get the episode show notes for this episode by going to journey to launch.com or click the description of wherever you're listening to this. And you can still grab your jumpstart guide for free to help you on your journey to financial freedom by going. To Journey to launch.com/jumpstart

Jamila Souffrant 25:06

if you want to support me and the podcast and love the free content and information that you get here, here are four ways that you can support me in the show. One, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast wherever you listen, whether that's Apple podcasts, that purple app on your phone, your Android device, YouTube, Spotify, wherever it is that you happen to listen, just subscribe so you are not missing an episode. And if you're happening to listen to this in Apple podcasts, rate review and subscribe there. I appreciate and read every single review. Number two, follow me on my social media accounts. I'm at journey to launch on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And I love, love, love interacting with journeyers. There three. Support and check out the sponsors of this show. If you hear something that interests you, sponsors are the main ways we keep the podcast lights on here, so show them some love for supporting your girl. Four. And last but not least, share this episode, this podcast with a friend or family member or co worker so that we can spread the message of Journey to launch. All right, that's it until next week. Keep on journeying. Journeyers. You.

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