Q&A Episode: Rebuilding After Divorce; Getting Your Partner Onboard & Financially Preparing for a Baby + More

Episode Number: 376

Episode 376: Q&A Episode: Rebuilding After Divorce; Getting Your Partner Onboard & Financially Preparing for a Baby + More

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Q&A Episode: Rebuilding After Divorce; Getting Your Partner Onboard & Financially Preparing for a Baby + More

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In this Q&A episode, I am answering questions submitted from listeners of the podcast, on topics including; how to reenter the workforce after 18 years of being a stay at home mom, is getting a CFEI certification a good idea & how to get your partner on board with your financial freedom dreams. I also discuss the importance of networking, building connections and giving yourself grace on your journey + much more. 

In This Episode You’ll Learn: 

  • Tips on how to network and promote your small business 
  • Is a CFEI certification beneficial & what are some various paths to becoming a personal finance educator
  • Why high yield savings account are a good option to hold emergency savings or long-term goals savings
  • How to get your partner to join you on your financial independence journey + financial planning for new parents, including emergency funds and health insurance.


  • 3:00-7:20: Using the search function on the Journey to Launch website to find relevant episodes
  • 7:20-14:20: Jamila gives advice to a listener who is a newly divorced mother of five, who owns an ice cream & candy shop and is re-entering the workforce at age 53 after 18 years as a stay-at-home mom. 
  • 14:20-24:00 Jamila answers a listener’s question regarding obtaining the CFEI certification and if she found it beneficial and would recommend it.  
  • 24:00-30:50: Should you put a $5,000 emergency fund in a money market account or a high-yield savings account. 
  • 32:00-42:35: How to persuade your husband to get on board with your financial plans.
  • 42:35- 50:54: Tips on financially preparing for a baby 
I'm listening to episode 376 of the Journey to Launch Podcast, Q&A Episode: Rebuilding After Divorce; Getting Your Partner Onboard & Financially Preparing for a Baby + More Share on X

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Hey, hey, hey, Journeyers Welcome to the journey to launch podcast. Welcome back. If you are a loyal journeyer, who's been listening for a while maybe you took a break, you came back to check in. Maybe you're totally new to the journey to launch podcast, I am your host Jamila souffrant, host of this podcast journey to launch that you're listening to and author of the book your journey to financial freedom. For this episode, going to switch things up and do something I haven't done in a while, which is a question and answer episode. So over the course of weeks, even months, I've received a few questions from listeners from people who follow my content, whether through DM on Instagram, or emails, or people who are on my list that respond to my weekly emails that I send out. And you guys have questions. And I haven't always been able to answer or get back to you. But I did start compiling a list and I said, You know what, now's a great time to release an episode just addressing some of your questions. So I've compiled some of the most recent questions I've gotten. Some of them are a couple months old. But I think the topics here are evergreen, meaning someone else if not the person who wrote this is probably experiencing the same issue. And so I do believe that you'll be able to even if it's not your specific question, or it's not the exact same scenario that you will be able to glean something from this. So with that, I'm going to go through some of the questions. All right. The first question is from Laura. She says, My name is Laura and I just started listening to your podcasts a couple of weeks ago, I live in Connecticut. I'm the mother of five children, ages 11 to 22. And I've been divorced three years. I've so many questions as I listened to your podcast. And I guess my biggest one is, are there any episodes you can recommend me listening to that talks about getting back into the workforce after being divorced, I was a stay at home mom for 18 years. I'm 53 years old. I worked in the hospital for a few years now. I recently bought an ice cream candy shop, I don't have good savings and the store has a lot of slow times are really just want to aspire to what your podcast is teaching. But I'm struggling on where to begin. So any recommendations on where to start? That would be great. I'm looking forward to this journey. Okay, Laura, first of all, congratulations to you round of applause round of applause for you getting back into the workforce after divorce. I mean, you were married for a long time you stay at home mom, which by the way, that is a job that is a career. That is dedication as a mom myself, I get you and so the fact that you dedicated all that time to your kids for that long. I just salute you because I just know so much of that work that's done in the household by that stay at home parent is not always recognized if you were not bringing in actual income or dollars, but the work you've done and are doing is invaluable. Like there's no amount of money that you could pay someone to really like show the appreciation of raising children and how hard it is. So divorce you know I know that that must be hard starting over. And so I want to give you a few tips. So one of the things that I think will be helpful for anyone who listens to this podcast is that I have over 300 episodes. I mean, it's almost about to be 400 episodes on the podcast probably by the end of the year for sure. But I have so much content. So I know sometimes it can be overwhelming depending on when when you find me and this information. But one of the best things to do if you have a specific question or topic, and you want to see if I discussed it or other podcast episodes, is to go to journey to launch.com. That is the home of all things journey to launch. So Journey to launch.com. There's also a search button, whether you're on your phone, or on a laptop, where you can put in keywords. And so I'm gonna give you a few episodes that I pulled up, that hopefully will be helpful, and then I'll give you some specific tips. But in this instance, you could put in divorce into Journey to launch.com. And then it will bring up all the episodes, or at least most of the episodes hoping that the search button works properly, that talk about divorce. And you can do this for any topic, really. And hopefully it will bring up some relevant information and then it can search through all the episodes. So some of the episodes that came up right away when I put in divorce was actually a recent one, episode 373 with Jackie Cummings kowski the title of it is overcoming poverty divorce and achieving fire with over a $1 Million Dollar Portfolio. So that was episode 373. Another episode I will direct you to or you can check out is episode 235. This is with Tasha Kennedy, the broke black girl that is her IG handle and brand name, title of that is paying off $30,000 of debt financially recovering from divorce and building an authentic brand. And then the last one I give you there are a couple more on the website. But the last one is episode 230 Reaching financial independence and investing $750,000 after divorce with Dr. Alicia Simmons. And another pro tip for dealing or finding episodes on the on the website is just to put in Journey tosh.com/episode And whatever episode number. So Okay, those are just three starting off tips in terms of hopefully helpful content and then guiding you through how to find information on the website. Now with that, let's talk about what to do with recovering from divorce and then a business. So again, congratulations on buying a business and having a business that also is not easy. And with that getting back into the workforce, a lot of the times when we have been busy in areas of our life when it comes to rearing children or running in household, we can let our connections and our relationships go by the wayside because we're so busy. So one of the things that I would encourage you to do is to work your network. And if that means you have to build one and reconnect with older or other people in your life before then do them best ways to get started. We connect with people on Facebook and LinkedIn. So now that you have a business, and you're a small business owner, yes, you're a small business owner, get yourself on LinkedIn. And you'll have a proper profile in which if someone was to search for your business, they can find you as the owner. And you can be aware of all the business and small business opportunities in your area, connect with other entrepreneurs or professionals in your community who have experience with running a small business or transitioning back into the workforce at a later in life point. So this can be online, so you'd be surprised how much helpful people and information there is on Facebook and the internet. Now, of course, you have to be careful, because people on this net can be very interesting. But I believe Facebook is a great place to find local groups and affinity groups that talk about something dealing with your business, whether it's brick and mortar, or can help you as an entrepreneur in your area, and also in person. So what are your in person, local community support groups, I would talk to if you have not already the other small businesses on your block. You know, I live in New York so we say block but in your strip. If you're in a strip mall or in your area, right there are other businesses who you can connect with an axe questions. Do not be afraid of asking those questions and saying you need help if you need help. I would think about you and mentioned in the question, you know, they're slow periods and of course that's with all business. But being able to have a support system and ask questions other businesses and cross promote, if possible, is a great idea. You know, actually have a local ice cream shop around me where what I've seen them do is local fundraisers. Is with schools. So a school will say the proceeds are a small percentage of the proceeds can go to maybe the PA, and that encourages people to come in to the ice cream shop to shop. And so approaching maybe some organizations, churches and or schools to see if they want to partner with you to bring their community in. You can also offer your space for events and small things, I also that same ice cream shop did a Pokemon Trading event or just had kids come in with their Pokemon card books, I thought that was pretty smart to do for them. Because you know that one time person coming in for that one time event, hopefully it will want to come back. So those those are just ideas off the top of my head in terms of maybe creative ways to get more patrons. But ultimately, it's about building a strong business foundation. And that is networking and connecting with other entrepreneurs and professionals. You'd be surprised how much support is within the community, whether it's through grants for you know, women, women of color, just what is out there for you at your local library and researching and asking those questions. So network x the questions, don't be afraid to you know, show vulnerability, but also to show that you are doing the thing you I mean, I'm impressed with what you've been able to accomplish. And so be proud of where you are, have that confidence that you deserve to be where you are, and that you can move forward. The other thing I'll just put out there is education and training. So are there some, whether it's courses and workshops that you can attend on different aspects of your business? So maybe it's marketing, maybe it's online marketing, right? So there's that online marketing piece where you want someone to be able to Google the area, and you ice cream, or something that comes up and they find you are you searchable on the internet, if someone is in your area? Are you on all the popular food review sites, you know, the Yelp and Google where they can find you. And also that's like online, making sure you are positioned properly. But then in person marketing. So what are some of those trainings that you can take that can help you with your business, a lot of online platforms offer affordable or free courses that you can look at. Again, Google is your best friend, be careful, but search for things that you're thinking literally whatever is popping into your mind, as a statement, you can put in, you know, free course for small entrepreneur, a free course, for ice cream, or different combinations of words that can start you with that first hyperlink that you click on that gets you somewhere else. The other thing that I would just say is self care is very important. I know that's cliche, you know, quote unquote. And a lot of times, we think that self care has to be costly. And so if you are in a financial bind, things are tight for you not, you know, recommending that you go take a luxurious vacation, I spent a lot of money on massages, but just taking time in this transition period, to give yourself grace, and to be gentle with yourself with this right navigating a new venture, and life after divorce. And you're still your sole mom is emotionally challenging, it can be draining. So whatever that is, whatever it looks like, whether it's taking a walk, or meditating or prayer, what you need to do to stay grounded, do that for yourself. And I'll just keep going back to seeking guidance and counseling from other people who had been in your situation, even divorce support groups, you know, divorce support groups, and then entrepreneurial slash business support groups that you can find in person or online. Keep looking for that. Remember, your journey is unique. So even if you Google on you find some information or you even listen to a podcast episode that I mentioned, and it's not, doesn't line up completely with what you have gone through. Take what you can from it. I like to say, take the meat, leave the bones, not everything that's going to apply. But in certain areas where you can apply it be open to that advice. Be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you. All right, on to our next question. believe this came in as an email there Jimmy Allah. I hope this message finds you well. I'm Sharon, a dedicated listener and admirer of your work in personal finance. Your podcast has been instrumental in shaping my understanding of financial matters. I love your energy and your positivity. I recently learned about your certified financial education instructor C F ei certification, and I am considering pursuing it to deepen my knowledge and help others through coaching them. I greatly value your expertise and would love to hear about your experience with the CFI certification. Did you find it beneficial? Would you recommend it I appreciate your time and thank you for consistently delivering valuable content through your Are podcasts looking forward to your response? Thank you. Okay, so I like this question because I remember having the same question when I first started my entrepreneurial journey when I, when I knew that this could be a business and a pathway to freedom for me. So I don't exactly remember the exact year. So the podcast, the blog was started in 2016. The podcast was started in 2017. And so I'm pretty sure I got my CFI around that time, because when I first started, you know, I didn't have intentions of coaching, or presenting myself, as you know, a personal finance, quote unquote, expert, as really starting the brand, or the blog at first to share my journey. Then as what happens mostly, when you start things unexpected things happen next. And so I quickly realized and saw my unique maybe ability and skill to talk about money to translate what I was learning and help other people. And I saw an opportunity to not only help myself through this journey, but to help other people. And I remember when I was first starting and thinking this could be a business. You know, I didn't really know a lot of people within the space, I didn't really have any personal finance credentials. And that's the thing you can't really there's no personal finance. Now, there are more personal finance, I guess, courses and ways to I guess, teach someone and learn about coaching, there definitely are resources for that. But at that point, for me, at least, there was I didn't have that, right. Like everything was self taught. It was what I learned and applied in my life. And I figured, well, if I wanted to be eventually quoted in publications, and if I wanted to legitimize myself, then I would need to have some certification. And I also wanted to learn proper techniques and helping other people. Because sometimes just because because you know how to do it doesn't mean you know how to teach other people right to do it. I think that is a skill set. That's why I love teachers, because teachers especially good teachers, know how to, you know, teach concepts and break concepts down in a way and meet their student where they are. So with that, I was like looking into different certifications. I remember looking at the CFP which is a Certified Financial Planning designation, which is a definitely a much harder complicated and different path to take than something as the C Fe i To me, the CFP is a more basic way to just dip your feet in the water of learning how to talk about money and coach about money and legitimize basically, if you are wanting to start a coaching business, so I went to the site. I will leave the website in the show notes for this, but it's the financial educators council.org and the certified financial education instructor. Just going to quickly read what they say it's four. It says the C Fei program helps individuals acquire the expertise, credibility and self assurance they need to teach money management lessons effectively. Graduates from the NF e CS financial literacy certification program demonstrates that you are qualified to teach the subject matter and increase your credibility as a financial education instructor. With over 6000 enrollees today. It's one of the established national standards for personal finance instructors. And this is the leading financial educator certification in the industry. One of the reasons why I also selected this is I had a couple other fellow entrepreneurs who took this. And also it was self paced, which I loved. So I was working full time at the time I did this, I love that I can do it on my own. I forgot how much I paid for this course. I don't think for me, you know, everything is relative when it comes to a lot of money. But for me it was affordable. And something that I can do compare to the other programs that I looked at. And in terms of time. So yes, it was worth it for me to take it was a small investment considering the return on the investment and the return on the investment for me was to understand how to teach basic concepts about money so I can better talk about it with you to you. At that point. I thought financial coaching was going to be a big part of what I did, or at least I was open to trying it which I actually I was a coach for a while for a couple years where I did one on one coaching and then I did like group coaching settings where I applied what I learned and ultimately one year being quoted so I've been quoted in numerous publications are on TV so New York Times. Good Morning America, essence, Business Insider, you name it, when they are positioning you as an expert. or someone that other people should listen to having a designation, it legitimizes what you're talking about. Right. And so deciding what you want to do with the pathway that you're on, do you want to be you know, and this is for anyone listening who's thinking about creating personal finance content, do you want to do it for more from a place of this is my story. And because people are very successful when, you know, they talk about just my story, and our front, like, didn't go to school for this, you know, not certified. I not, you know, designated to give you investment advice, but this is just my personal opinion, that's one way to do it, where you're creating a personal finance, almost entertainment, or accountability platform where people can kind of see what you're doing, and you're teaching what you know, versus, you know, people who want to become coaches, and talk about money and be able to teach money in a certain way. So that might look like doing workshops at colleges, and schools, and churches, for some of that, right. Like, you don't necessarily need a certification or degree to do that, but it can't hurt, it can't hurt if that's the route you want to take. And it's a great start, because then you may see, okay, I want to go further than this, I want to learn more, I want an even more legitimate, maybe designation that is more rigorous to get into, right. So this one, I believe, you just, you basically you sign up and you do the coursework, you take the test, you pass it versus there are some other programs, where it's more rigorous to go through and get into and it's months of work in preparation. I believe I completed this in a couple of weeks, because it was self paced, whereas maybe someone else depending on their lifestyle, or life obligations, it may take them longer. So just thinking about where you want to go. But all that to say, I think is a great starting point, if you are looking to just dip your toe into the water and learning about teaching about money and talking about money. Also, if you want the competence to do that. So some people can just talk about things and present themselves as experts. And they don't, they don't feel like they need any designations to do that. And then some people are like, You know what, I want to make sure I understand this properly. I am doing that work behind the scenes, and I want to feel more confident by saying I went through this program. And so that's more of you than doing a designation like this is not a bad idea. So I would recommend it, you know, they're not paying me to do this. I just know that when I got my CFI it helped a lot in terms of my confidence, and giving me just a designation to say, Okay, I know something about teaching about money. And if you want to go further, some other things I would recommend, especially if you're thinking about teaching about money, you know, I'm gonna go back to, to networking and understanding community, because another thing that I learned and what I seeked out is okay, if I want to be a coach, which is what I thought back in the day, at some point, who are other coaches that I can learn from, what courses are they taking. So the CFTR may be a entry point. But when I joined other groups, so fin con, for example, when I went to fin con, which is a Finance Conference, a Personal Finance Conference for creators, then I realized that there were different levels, to what people were doing to earn money in the personal finance space. Some people their main way they made money was coaching. And it wasn't through a CFP, which is the Certified Financial Planner, where they are a financial planner, and it's more rigorous, but it was just through coaching. And I got to talk to them and see what their life was like. And you know, after a while, I realized that's not how I wanted to earn a living through journey to launch. And so being able to surround myself with people who were doing this already was very helpful. So I recommend joining those Facebook groups, asking the questions that people who have the designations and seeing if that's something that you want to do. Okay, hope that helped. Next question is from Nicole. She says I can't find resources for the better option between a money market account with my credit union, where I already use direct deposit, and a high yield savings account. I'm not interested in moving my direct deposit. This is to move my emergency funds of $5,000 that's been sitting in my regular savings account. I'm a 48 year old teacher who was getting a divorce and interested in leaving teaching before retirement and starting to invest for the first time in my life. I'm very overwhelmed and depressed that I haven't done any significant saving for retirement. Okay, Nicole, I'm going to tell you to take a deep breath right now, if you're listening and to anyone who also feels this way, feeling overwhelmed and depressed that you have not done enough. I honestly think that it's never enough. It never feels like enough. And so that's not to minimize your feelings. It's to meet you where you are and to tell you that I've felt the same way. I feel the way that same way sometimes, you know, I could have done more, I should be doing more and so you are legitimate in the way you feel. Going back to just giving you grace, you're a teacher. So kudos to you, I will say teachers are saving the world, one child at a time going through a divorce, that cannot be easy. And so just want to give you grace and credit where it is due. Or let's just do some definitions for anyone who is not aware of book money money market account versus a high yield savings account. money market account is a interest bearing account, usually at a bank or credit union. And it typically offers higher percentage returns over a traditional savings account. But sometimes not It all depends on the bank and the institution. And then the high yield savings account is a savings account that offers an above average annual percentage yield on deposits. And typically, those can be found at more online institutions, which is why they're able to offer such a higher interest yield because they don't have the overhead that a traditional bank has. So for example, if you look at your maybe current, traditional brick and mortar banks saving interest rate, annual percentage rate, it might be point zero 5%, that you're getting back on your money, versus a high yield savings account, which can depending on the market can be up to 5% of a return that you are getting, which is a big difference. Now, depending on how much money you have in there. So it does make a difference having your money in a regular savings account for emergencies or for quick access versus a high yield savings account. So with that, this question is about moving $5,000 of your emergency fund. And so high yield savings account, just like a traditional savings account is still federally insured for up to $250,000. And is generally a safe place to park your money, it may take you a longer time to access it depending on which institution you go with to deposit your money. But for many account is just as easy as creating a link between your traditional checking and saving to your online saving. And if you need the money transferring it, which may take a couple of days, and then you can access it. No one's paying me or no company is going to pay me right now to say this, I'll give you just a couple of names. I currently use Ally Bank for my online savings account. But you know, there are other places like Sofi. And you can do a Google search. And it will actually there are some sites that will bring up and compare the current percentage rates on high yield savings account. So this is one of those questions where don't let it over consume you and think about for months and months at a time. This is fairly a low risk decision. So this is not like, Okay, I have to move my retirement account from you know, my current maybe my ex job to a new investment broker. That is a more involved decision that takes a you know, I would that, to me is a more emotionally charged decision. This decision, just to give you just some assurance is something that involves putting your money into a relatively safe account, and making sure that you're going with a reputable company, as long as you're going with a reputable company that is insured. So it's still something that is FDIC or NCUA insured by the government, which means your money is safe. And you can talk to a person when you call and have questions and or transfer your money without issues to your traditional bank, then it's not something that I would obsess about in a way where you don't make a decision. So I would look at what high yield savings account is available to you, which is mostly all of them because they're all online and pretty accessible. But look at you know, the percentage rate don't get too hung up on, you know, a couple basis points difference in percentage rates. Some places might offer 5%, some places offer maybe 4%. That's a whole 1% difference. And that can matter depending on how much but it doesn't matter as much as you making a decision and having the confidence that you're going to make a decision that moves you forward to your goals. I just want to give you that competence if you need it in terms of doing that. The other thing that you didn't ask me about but I just want to say is that you're a teacher, you say that you don't feel like you've saved enough. So I would look at your your teaching retirement account and see what's going on there. I would look at how much you have been. If you've been contributing at all. You can always increase it. You can increase it by 1%. A few dollars but something that you can write if you can with Santa in your budget to give you that momentum. Every dollar counts at the is point. And so being able to kind of go to your account, see where you are. And don't be afraid to look, I think for a lot of us who feel like they should be doing more, you have not done enough, you don't want to look. And so if you haven't looked, and this is for anyone listening, go look at it, go see what you've been doing, and make that change today make that change right now. But generally, I'm a fan of high yield savings account. I think because your money is safe there just as it would be in a traditional savings account, that you can park your emergency savings or if you're saving, for example, a house or a car, or vacation even and that won't take place like you won't use that money for a couple years or a few months, you can earn a good return on that money by just parking it there.

I Jamila here, host of this podcast and author of the book your journey to financial freedom, a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness. Just a few years ago, I was in a job I didn't like with a long commute. feeling stuck, I knew there had to be a different better way. Then I found the pathway to financial freedom and financial independence. Today I have more money, options and freedom than I ever thought was possible. And in my book your journey to financial freedom. I'll show you how you can achieve that too. You will learn how to spend and save responsibly, all while enjoying that spicy Margarita and extra side of guacamole. To determine where you are on the journey and evaluate your spending and saving goals accordingly. Quit your job, retire early, or reach financial independence. My book your journey to financial freedom a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness is out now and available on Amazon bookshop.org, Barnes and Noble and more, you can leave and listen to the audiobook narrated by me. Go to your journey to financial freedom.com to get a free bonus when he ordered the book and see all the places to buy it. Once again go to your journey to financial freedom.com. All right, let's go to this next question, which actually is a voice message question.

Hi, Jamila. My name is Talia and I just discovered your podcast about a month ago. And it has been literally all I've listened to. I'm up to episode 72. And I'm loving every bit of it. I remember in the beginning episodes, you discussed how you brought information to your husband to bring him on board to let him know that this is something that's viable, something that we could do or that you guys could do. What exactly did you present to him to essentially get him to see like, okay, yes, this could work. I'm trying to get my husband on board, but I need to really make my case to really bring him on board because I'm talking about it every day. He hears me listening to your podcast daily, but he needs to see the cold hard facts essentially, as to how this can work for us. Thank you so much and keep on shining. Thank

you Shelia for that message. By the way, my besties name is all socially I think it's spelt differently. But love that great question. Because if you are partnered up, boot up seriously, like someone that is your life partner. This is very important for the journey to financial independence or freedom because even if you're not even combining your finances, you're on this journey together. And because so many so much of what you do is combined like you live together, especially if you have kids or decisions you have to make together it's so important to be on the same page. I'm going to direct you to some episodes Shelia that were older episodes, but I thought you said you're up to I think episode 30 something by now that you're hearing this if you So listen, it's you probably caught up a lot more. But I'm just going to for other people who are listening, shout out episode 20 of my podcast. So that's episode 20 on Mani chat with my husband, we're actually had my husband on the podcast, so dreading slash.com/episode 20 And you can hear from him even though that was years ago, I probably need to have him back on at some point for an update. But we talked about how he felt on this journey, where I was the one that was definitely more intense or wanted this change in our finances and kind of had to convince him and bring him along. There are also some other episodes you can check out. Episode 139 love and money how they got on the same page to pay off $32,000 of debt with Lido and Shamika. I actually did a case study where I mentioned their case study in my book your journey to financial freedom. And then the last one I would give even though I have two more episodes with couples talking about this is episode 246. Paying off $123,000 of student loan debt with Angie and RJ from rich by intention. So just a couple episodes checked out that talk about that Love and money and getting on the same page. Now, when it comes to my husband and what we did, it depends on how intense you want to be and your personality of your partner. Because you know, I don't think it's necessarily a male or female or traditional kind of like male or female role issue at all. Because I know that there are some men who are the ones that are more on it with the finances versus like women, and vice versa, or both. And so in my case, I was the one that was just a bit more methodical, and even without the money about like, what I wanted to do with my life. I'm very much a planner, I call it like, Mike organized chaos in a way because I don't necessarily plan all the small things in my life, but like big, major things, I plan. And so with that, realizing and discovering the financial independence movement, I set like this goal, because I said to myself, There's no way I'm going to be commuting this bar doing all this work, that I don't love, and then being the one to bear the children, and like have this be my life. And so it was really important that I show him how me being happy and us being being stable to walk because this is at the beginning before we even had kids, right? Like we were starting our family before we had our three kids, why it was so important for us to get on the same page with this. One of the things that helped immensely, was showing him the numbers. So yes, I heard you say your husband sees you listening to you know, or hears you listening to podcasts, maybe you bring things up to him. But I know that showing my husband like the math behind what I wanted to do was going to be important because I can say it like, Oh, what if we're millionaires, you know, what if I'm able to quit my job? All that sounds good. But like, is it possible. And so I wanted to show him and this is where I created something I called the Fire Calc, if you read the book, if you've been listening for a while you've heard of the fire Calc. But I wanted to see what it would be like if we continue our same investing and saving strategy didn't change a thing, versus if we made some changes to our finances. And so being able to model out our life, and what would it be, you know, this was years ago, so by 4045 5055, and then show him this is what happens if we don't do anything, and we keep things regular. And this is what's possible if we make these changes. So showing him that wow, like there were like millions more in our account, if we made these changes, and maybe sacrifice a little bit upfront, started to let him see that this was a viable thing that I was talking about. It wasn't just something that I was making up. So I think numbers are very helpful. So if there's any way that you can show the numbers, whether you print out, or you show where you guys currently are with your finances, you know, even like the budget, right, there might be some things you do upfront at first, and maybe you compile that budget and you show where your money is going, you sit down, and then once that person sees it, it causes them to have a different emotion and reaction because it's real, versus the avoidance or thinking about it, where you can not think that it's real. Also what helped him come on board was bringing his goals into it. So I knew my goal was to be able to quit my job and not have to commute. But he was fine with his commute. His commute was like 1015 minutes, he was fine with his job for him. He didn't foresee a life where he quit his job early. He didn't see that. But when we were having our kids, one of the things that I said to him was alright, I know that you maybe never want to quit your job, or you're comfortable right now. But let's just say you know, our kids are in college, and by the time they're in college, we'll be in our early 50s. And what if we do want to retire? Or what if you do want to step away? Or what if you want to have that flexibility? Let's just say they're doing something where you want to be a part of that. I was bringing up sports just because he's a basketball guy. Our kids are currently playing basketball. And so it's just like, don't you want to have that flexibility. If by chance, if by chance, you know setting the dream up. They play college basketball, they play high school basketball, you don't any. You want to have that flexibility to be there for them if you want or you want to take vacations. My husband likes nice things. He likes to go on vacation. Wouldn't you want to have the flexibility to do that? And still be young and healthy and enjoy our lives. And so I think creating that vision for him. And not just what I wanted was important. Coming down we talked about this in that episode he was on we're about cars, right? So I think sometimes a hesitation for a partner is getting better with your finances means cutting back and not having Nice things are the finer things which can be true, you know, depending on where you are and what you you have to sacrifice. And so even with him, you know, I knew having a car and I always say this, we had more luxury cars in our 20s. And then we started having kids, and we got more economical. But you know, I made sure to tell him, I think, you know, if we can afford a nicer car one day, and kind of get back to that, I'd love to do that. And it's still kind of like a goal I have for us, letting him know, I think we should make these changes, because it will put us in a better position without totally depriving us, we can still work towards some of the things that you want in your life, you know, we can still take the vacation. And maybe we can't take the luxurious vacation right away, right. So we didn't take nice vacations, and we got the more economical cars. But now we're in a place where we can take nice vacations, and we can do more things. And maybe a nicer car isn't in our in our near future. And so I think being able to tell them that and have those real conversations hopefully, will help your husband or and his motivation may not be any of the things that my husband's motivations are. And his motivations can change, but really sit down and get to understand what fuels him. And this goes for anyone listening, what fuels your partner, for me, if my husband came to me and said, let's say with the roles were reversed, and he was the one that was all gung ho about personal finance and financial independence. And you know, I was living my life spending the money, because that's what I'm working hard for. But he approached it and understood that I was unhappy in my job, he would know, then my motivation would be to eventually not work in that job forever. And so that would motivate me to like, listen a bit more, and try to try new things. And so figure out what that motivation is for them, get them excited about it. Have a say and compromise, maybe you can't be as intense as you want. And maybe it starts out slow. We first when I thought about it, and thought how much we could invest aggressively. I'm like, let's just Max everything out right away. But I was comfortable doing that, but he wasn't at first. And so we did it slowly. He started to increase his retirement percentage, slowly. And then in a couple of months, he was like, You know what, let's just do it. And so he maxes out after a while when he felt comfortable. So, best of luck Shelia on your journey together with your partner. Just remember to listen to them to talk it through and give it some time. Just because you're excited about it doesn't mean they're gonna all always get as excited as quickly and that's okay. Okay, last question. Hey, Jamila, I have been a fan. Since you started back in 2018. Your podcasts have helped me navigate my savings, early career strategizing, paying off my student loans, and even buying my first house, you've been my favorite source of financial guidance over these years. I was wondering if you have any blogs or episodes about the finances of family planning? I'm considering if my spouse and I should have a child. But the money aspect feels the scariest. I know you have a lot of other episodes on other things. And I believe one is saving for college and student loans, but nothing explicitly on how to financially prepare for kids. Well, first, thank you so much for being a journeyer and listener of the podcast was so helpful to help you through navigating so many aspects of your life. And yes, family planning is indeed a significant decision. And I love that you're considering it. Because the financial aspect I think so many people don't consider that part if they can, right. That's part of the decision making process. So I know I don't have specific episodes on family planning, but I can give you some tips right here. And then keep that in mind maybe for a future episode that relates just to that. So with that, I'm gonna get my own personal just like ramble and then I'll give you tips. I think having children can be as expensive as you want. I think there are some unavoidable things right? So just being like pregnant and the medical care and take time off of work, especially depending on the type of job you have, like do they give you maternity leave and all that costs are things that are just unavoidable? So it's important to take that into consideration and then childcare, then one of the biggest things for parents is paying for childcare if you have a working parent or both parents work and that can be very, very expensive that daycare cost. So thinking ahead about what those costs are are going to be important. I do think for some people that it will never feel like you're ready or financially ready just because life happens in there so many just apart from survival and being able to pay for your basic needs, like your own rent or mortgage and your own food is like not adding in additional things like cheese Healthcare and the future expenses, diapers, food that come with having a kid. And so it can often feel like who's who's ever ready for that? And so I think sitting down and taking a real look at your budget is key thinking and looking back at how have you spent an hour, this is something I think everyone should do family planning or not even if you're just thinking about making a major change in your life, maybe relocating or buying a house is looking at your cash flow, you know, what's coming into your household? What is going out? And just getting a sense of where you are? And what is the gap? Is there any gap in that I talked about this in the book, your journey to financial freedom, the difference between your income and your mandatory expenses equals a gap. And then with that gap, so that difference allows you to pay down your debt, invest and save, so increase your assets, and then pay for discretionary expenses. Now, without children, if you're in the stages of family planning, what does that look like? If you were to categorize all your your expenses? And then your income? What is your gap look like? Do you have a gap? Knowing that you will have kids where your gap, you'll have to redirect money. So the only way to increase your gap is to earn more money and or to decrease your expenses. And they can forward okay, whether it's you or you and a partner are their future income sources you can depend on that's going to help cover any additional expenses, or other current expenses that you can cut back on, that you need to cut back on to prepare, you may be in a stage right now where you're paying off debt and doing other things, right, like saving up for something and you may need to divert that money, write the additional debt payments to saving for having a baby. And that's okay. I believe that life's moments and life takes precedence over sometimes the financial goals we set for ourselves. Because if your money is limited, and you have a baby on the way, it's important to save for that baby to me and make sure that you are financially Okay, versus putting all your additional money into paying off additional debt above the minimum payment. So it's okay to change and divert your goals and where your income is going to help prepare for this. So budgeting helps you see that it helps you to see where your money has been going, and what future changes you can make moving forward to accommodate the additional expenses associated with having a child. And then you know, you're thinking again about childcare, healthcare, diaper clothing and education savings. Now, some of that, like education savings are not things you need to think about right now, I do want to pump the brakes. If you're someone who's saying, oh my gosh, I have to now do that too. You don't have to do that right away. The most important things is to think about how you're going to handle medical care, and things like diapers and clothing and the essential care for your baby. The other thing is that is important is your emergency fund. So anything can happen and having just something set aside is going to be important. So how do you build up an emergency fund for unexpected expenses that may arise during pregnancy or even after the birth? You know, the typical rule of thumb can be at least three to six months worth of living expenses. I know depending on where you are in your financial journey, that that can be a lot. But having something something is going to be important. So how much would that be? How much would you need to do that? I'd also review health insurance. So whether that is your health insurance, or maybe a partner's health insurance, understand what is covered for prenatal care, labor and delivery, and all the pediatric care expenses that are involved, what is covered, getting an understanding of that is important. I know that sometimes you have all these unexpected expenses that you were not expecting after you visit the doctor. And so understanding what they are so you can least know it. So it helps to prepare for that is important. What is your parental leave, extremely important to explore your options for parental leave buy from your employer, if you you know work for the government, calculate how much time you can take off. And if you have to then forego sometimes payment or income to do that. I know I was very blessed and lucky and fortunate in my situation where my job gave me a good amount of time off and then I was able to plan out I was able to use my vacation days and even had some unpaid time at the end of it to help sustain me to have up to a six month time break after I gave birth. So think about and plan out what that looks like and if there's going to be a loss in income, how will you cover that? Other things that Our future things I don't want you to necessarily worry about now, but to have in the back of your head for when the time is right is the education savings, childcare costs, and estate planning, those are going to be important things that you look at. So I know that this feels daunting, everything I just mentioned. And it can feel overwhelming. But remembering to discuss this, hopefully, if you do have a partner with your partner, you know, share that burden, share that responsibility with them, and talk to other people who in your life who may be also had children about some of the things they experienced or cost that they did not expect. And kind of rally your community around you to start thinking through okay, what what am I missing here? Or maybe I'm thinking about this not too much, but in a way that is actually taking away from this thing that I want to do this important thing that if this what you want to do, and if it makes sense for you. Okay, journeyers I hope you enjoyed that q&a episode. If you want me to do more q&a episodes, let me know you know, I always like your feedback. The more you tell me you like something, the more I will consider doing it. So you can always reach out and share your thoughts. If you're listening to this screenshot the episode and share it on social media tag me at journey to launch or even at Jamila souffrant. So I can hear that you're listening that it helped you. And then if you do have a question for future q&a episode, you can always DM me at journey to launch you can respond to my weekly newsletter if you're on my list. So you should be on my list. You can go to journey to launch.com/join if you just want to join the weekly newsletter and to be up to date on all the going ons that are happening here at journey to launch that I don't always share publicly. So Hint, hint, you should get on my list. I'm making some announcements to my list soon first, and they'll be the first to know. So get on it Journey to launch.com/join. And also if you want to leave a voice memo for a question, or just you want me to hear your voice as you always hear mine, go to journey to launch.com/voicemail I hope you enjoyed this episode. Please continue to share the podcast with your family and friends, coworkers loved ones why journey on this path alone. It's always best when you know someone in real life who can champion you and encourage you. So I always say share the knowledge, share the wealth, copy the link to this, send it to them, say hey, check it out. Remember, you can also check out my book, Your journey to financial freedom. You can go to your journey to financial freedom.com To see all the places to buy it including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, your local bookstores. Basically, it's it's everywhere, even in airports. So you can find out at your journey to financial freedom.com All the places that get the book, it has links directly to a lot of the websites where to buy the book. And of course, if you have read the book, please leave a review. All right. Until next time, keep on journeying journey airs.

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