How To Bounce Back from Financial Setbacks and Adversity w/ Lynnette Khalfani Cox

Episode Number: 366

Episode 366: How To Bounce Back from Financial Setbacks and Adversity w/ Lynnette Khalfani Cox

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How To Bounce Back from Financial Setbacks and Adversity w/ Lynnette Khalfani Cox

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In this episode, we chat with personal finance expert and author, Lynnette Khalfani Cox, who discusses how to overcome financial setbacks and adversity. She outlines 10 common challenges people face that negatively impact them financially & emotionally, which she calls the “dreaded Ds”. Lynnette provides us with some key strategies for bouncing back and assures us that there are always ways to recover and build resilience after a setback; focusing on your mindset and emotional health is the first step.

In this episode you will learn: 

  • Strategies for bouncing back such as: Leveraging your network & connections to find opportunities, cutting expenses and finding ways to earn extra income, prioritizing your goals and tackling them one at a time + others.
  • A breakdown of the 10 common challenges people face that impact our money- the dreaded D’s 
  • Examples of how to switch & save money in areas like healthcare, food, phone bills, & childcare.
  • How discrimination in housing, jobs, and lending can significantly impact someone’s financial situation + more

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Other Links Mentioned in episode:

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Lynnette Khalfani Cox 0:03

If it's discrimination against women, if it's discrimination against black people's discrimination against somebody who is otherwise abled, if it's discrimination against somebody who has LGBTQ identification or status, you have to call it out because being silent, lets the problem continue.

Intro 0:22

Minus 10 seconds. Welcome to the journey to launch podcast with your host jameelah. So frogs as a money expert who walks her talk, she helps brave juniors like you get out of debt, save, invest and build real world. Join her on the journey to launch to financial freedom 4321.

Jamila Souffrant 0:54

If you want the episode show notes for this episode, go to journey to or click the description of wherever you're listening to this episode. In the show notes, you'll get the transcribed version of the conversation, the links that we mentioned and so much more. Also, whether you are an OG journeyer are brand new to the podcast, I've created a free jumpstart guide to help you on your financial freedom journey. It includes the top episodes, so listen to stages to go through to reach financial freedom, resources and so much more. You can go to journey to launch that comm slash jumpstart to get your guide right now.

Okay, let's hop into the episode. Hey, hey, hey journeyers Welcome to the journey to launch podcast I have on the esteemed guest that has been on a few times, then I don't know if you know this, but this is your fourth time that I can count that you've been on the journey to launch podcast. But let me just give you a quick rundown everyone who this phenomenal woman is Lynette Cavani Cox. She is the money coach. She's a personal finance expert speaker and New York Times bestselling author who has written 16 books. Her latest work bounced back The Ultimate Guide to financial resilience and the bounce back workbook, the buted earlier this year, and I'm so excited to have you back on the show again. Lynette, welcome.

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 2:18

Thank you so much. I'm happy to join you. You have a great audience. And I'm just I continue to be impressed by all the good work. You're doing. Kudos to you.

Jamila Souffrant 2:27

Thank you. Well, thank you for trill blazing a path for me, my one book. And I can't imagine like how you've managed to write so many books. So I'm really excited to have you back on the show. And I will link all the episodes that Lynette was on. She was on episode 151 187 and 261 where, you know, we talked about a lot of great information. But this episode, we are going to dive more into her latest work when it's my latest work because I think it's something that a lot of people can relate to and need and that is bouncing back and being resilient in this time, especially in this time now.

So Lynette, can you please share? Because I know you have so many tidbits but like share, why this book and why now? Sure.

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 3:11

So bounce back is a book about how you overcome financial setbacks and personal adversity. And frankly, coming out of the pandemic, coming out of an economic environment where we've had high interest rates, inflation, a whole bunch of economic challenges that folks have had to deal with having to pay those student loans again, you know, I felt like the time was right to talk about not only how you manage your finances in tough times, but how you manage your finances when you personally had tough times. And so bounce back really shares that there are 10 Very common setbacks that most folks face and I call them the dreaded ds. So it's downsizing when you've lost the job, divorce, death of a loved one, disability, disease, debt, damaged credit, natural disasters. And then the last two are what I call dollar deficits, meaning I'm broke, I don't have cashflow. I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and discrimination. Because even things like discrimination can pack a powerful punch. It can hurt you in your wallet and hurt you emotionally too. So bounce back shares a whole host of strategies and personal stories, including my own, about how people have recovered from all of these setbacks and believe it or not, Jamila I've been through nine of these 10 dreaded DS so I'm tell tell people, okay, there's life. You know, we can we can get through this together. And I talk about like how it is you recover and build resilience. Personally, you emotionally and financially. Okay,

Jamila Souffrant 5:02

I love this. I know somebody's like, yes, let's get into it because I'm experiencing, like you said, not just one, but multiples of the deeds that you mentioned. And, you know, I think this is important, because I know we talk a lot about personal responsibility within personal finance. But then there's also this, you know, you cannot deny the outward impact of whether it's policy or government or just systemic issues that impact no matter how good you do, right, no matter how resilient you are, that impacts how you thrive or don't thrive. And so I want to give people these tools here on the podcast. So Lynette, explain or maybe share with us some of the most common DS or maybe Least Common that surprised people that they experience on the journey?

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 5:46

Sure. Well, two dreaded ds that really impact people, tremendously financially and emotionally are being downsized or losing a job and being discriminated against. So maybe let's talk a little bit about kind of what's typical, and what people can do from a strategy standpoint to bounce back from these setbacks. So first off, obviously, anytime you lose a job, it's one of those harrowing experiences that nobody likes to go through. I know when I lost my job, as a Wall Street Journal reporter for CNBC, this was 20 years ago, it was a blow. I was like, Why me? This isn't fair, this isn't right. I didn't like losing my six figure income it was it was not a pleasant time. But what I can say is that a lot of times when people lose a job, the very first inclination that we have, is to almost go in panic mode. And to just try to quickly think, Oh, let me replace my income. Let me go back and find another job. Let me you know, try to get some money in this household because Oh, my God, I gotta pay your bills. Well, yes, of course, you do have to pay the bills. And of course, there are financial needs that everyone has. But one of the strategies that I share and bounce back is that you really do have to attend to, again, your personal and emotional well being first, before you tackle the financial or even what I call the the practical and tactical side of being resilient and coming back from any kind of a setback. So for somebody who's lost a job, what does this look like? It really means that first and foremost, you kind of have to sit with that loss for a moment, you have to kind of process it. And think about it in terms of how were you truly affected by it. Because if you go back out into the job force, and you're, let's say interviewing all of a sudden, but you're still bitter, or you're still negative towards your employer, and you you feeling salty, because you feel in some kind of way, like, Well, why did they let me go, all of that energy, you're going to be giving that off during the interview process, you might say things negative against your employer, that would not put you in a good light with the next prospective employer. You might turn away opportunities that would be good for you again, because you're you're not in the right headspace. So sometimes what you need to do is kind of sit there and kind of process and think about emotionally what that below of losing a job has meant for you. Now, some people might be like, You know what? The reality is, I want to be out of there anyway. You know, I like my boss, I like my coworkers. And even having a relief or a sense of knowing that this wasn't the right fit for me. Sometimes it's only with a little bit of distance and stepping back and analyzing the situation, in a little bit more objective fashion, when you're not there working. That's what allows you to see what were the good parts about that job? What did I really like and enjoy about the position? And what did I absolutely detest what wasn't good, what wasn't serving me what wasn't working for me. Now, when you sort of sit with that, think about that, write some of that down, you can better apply for and be equipped to seek out the types of jobs, career opportunities, etc, that are in alignment with your values and your needs. So hopping from one job to the next just because you you know got a pink slip. That's not the best process. So again, I walk people through the some of the stages for this, because you absolutely go through phases. It's like grief, you might you might be in denial, you might be angry, you might feel like why me and you will as you know as a result of that. Go through not only mental stages but your mindset you Determine your actions and what you're doing. And you don't want to make some costly mistakes, whether you're you're job hunting or even whether you're putting yourself back in the dating pool, if you went through a divorce, let's say, but you're still bitter about your ex or whatever, right? You're not going to be in the best position until you actually deal with the the kind of emotional side of things.

Jamila Souffrant 10:21

Right, before we go into this rumination I love that with you know, I'm sure this is going to be throughout your book, but that it really starts with centering and getting your mental and emotional state right before you do the action. So because that is what people expect, or want, they want the result. But it's you know, how we feel and how we interact with people, or how we view opportunities or a lack of opportunities to impact what we do next? What about the person who says okay, I get that I should reflect, and sit with this and do some inner work as I or before I move on, but bills have to be paid. So you know, there is that feeling of I have to pay the rent, I have to pay the mortgage, I have to pay this thing. And so I don't feel like I have time to sit and reflect I have to move fast I have to do these things. What do you say to them? Right.

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 11:09

So again, real talk, because again, everybody has bills and things to be covered. So in addition to taking care of yourself personally, a lot of the strategies that I recommend and bounce back have to do with building capacity, building resilience in a variety of ways. So it's about building financial resilience, building your social resilience, building your emotional resilience, and building your physical resilience to, to the extent that you can build all of those, you're increasing your capacity, and your ability to bounce back from any setback. So for people who have lost a job, for example, one thing that you can do is work on social connections. So in every aspect of life, whether it's, you know, a health related disability or disease that you're going through, and you rely on somebody else, as a caretaker, or a hospital, a professional, who can be that person to help you to navigate those challenges, whether it's the person who's going through debt, or damaged credit, and the the person, that connection that they might need in their life is a budget, or credit counselor, or an investment advisor or an accountant who can help them to deal with their the tax mess that they might be dealing with, etc. So at every level, having connections, having people the right people in your life will help you to bounce back faster. So now what does this mean in Job terms, you've probably heard it, you know, said that your network is your net worth, right. And it basically means that you're going to be as only as financially strong as the set of connections that you have your personal, your professional, and other connections, people who are in your sphere and in your circle of influence. So anytime you need a job, anytime you need a source of income, it may be that you don't have to just hurry up and replace the full time job that you had, you might have skill sets and abilities that you can utilize on a freelance basis on a project basis. And just putting that out there in the universe to the right people who are in your set of connections, your social professional connections, etc. They might be like, You know what, I need somebody to help me with this. And you can get, you might be able to find a client, in other words faster than you can find a job. And that project might be just what you need to tide you over in terms of income or just some money coming in the door. Right? So that's one thing, you have other things that you can do, though, that don't require you to run out and get a job. So you can start to look at ways in which you can be smarter with your money. So I mentioned about dollar deficits, right? And how people are often living paycheck to paycheck and are cash strapped? Well, what about when you've lost a paycheck entirely right? You might be grappling with, obviously, fewer dollars coming in the door, maybe you have some savings, maybe you have none. But at the end of the day, you're going to have to start thinking about strategies to be able to tie yourself over. For some people, it's going to be unemployment, you're going to need to reach out and to seek the resources and benefits for which you qualify. For other people. It might be selling stuff that you say look around the house, your apartment, condo, wherever you're living. A lot of us have way too much stuff in our basements and our attics in our drawers, electronics, clothes, you know household goods, furniture, toys, whatever, sell some of that stuff and use that To raise some cash, and that'll help you to tide you over, some of us need to look at bouncing back from downsizing and not having money through other means, like utilizing windfalls that might come in, we're coming up to, you know, tax season, people gonna be filing their income taxes, the IRS says the average tax refund check is about $3,000. Again, filing those taxes sooner rather than later. Again, that'll get some money in the door that windfall through a tax refund check. So there's other strategies that you can do to get some money that don't even necessarily require you to get a job, you can either save money or get money through other means that don't require you sort of a nine to five. And then let me just sort of highlight Jamila, a couple of other on the savings front, because I referenced the concept about dealing with dollar deficit. This is whether you lost a job or whether you still have a job for anybody, but you just like oh my gosh, my budget is so tight, I'm kind of living paycheck to paycheck. I recently wrote this article, and it's on the site, it's on Ask the money But it's talking about how do you navigate, we're in a high interest rate environment. Inflation is higher than it had been pre pandemic, yes, things have come down a little bit. But prices are still way more than they were then a couple of years ago. And wages have not for the most part kept, we kept pace. Well, there's some things that you can do, I call it the switch and save strategy. So if you think about this strategy, for everything that you're spending money on, I can guarantee you'll be saving 510 $1,000 or more in a year. So switching save is about being smarter with how you allocate your dollars, it's about switching from a more costly, something that you're spending money on product or service, and then switching to a less costly or more affordable alternative. So I like to switch and save strategy, because I'm not going to ask people to just stop spending altogether, if that's not realistic. And I'm not going to ask people to scrimp and sacrifice and to do things in a way that they feel like they're in a financial straightjacket. Because that's not sustainable human nature bucks against that. So the switch and save strategy is just saying, I am going to spend on certain categories, but how can I spend smarter. So a couple of a couple of things, if you got medicines that you're taking, and 60% of all adults in this country takes some kind of a medicine, you can switch from that brand name prescription medicine that you're taking, which is probably costing about $100 a month, on average, according to the CDC, you can switch to a generic medicine, that's going to cost $30 A month. So that's $70 a month, that's gonna get you $840 savings over the course of a year. If you have food you're buying and everybody got to eat, of course, you can really do what I call is a healthier method, frankly, of just shopping shop, the perimeter of your grocery store, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and I know a lot of people said, oh, I want to get healthier and 2024. So I'm trying to help you here, I'm trying to help help you, you know, to really understand that health is wealth. The idea here is that instead of the package, the process, the fast foods, etc, which are not as healthy for you, of course, and which cost you actually more, go make the switch to those healthier things. family of four is gonna say $1,500 a year, just doing that phone service, all of us have a phone, right? People want to stay connected. Well, the average American is spending about $1,000 on a new smartphone every two or three years. Instead of doing that and having that regular postpaid phone. Again, if you're on a tight budget, and you need to save money, consider switching to a prepaid phone. This is going to be an option for people who want to put a little more cash flow into their bank account and not have to worry about that high expensive, you know, whatever the phone might be that the latest and greatest iPhone, Android or whatever, you switch into something like straight talk wireless, they got very affordable prepaid phones, no contract plans, cheap $25 a month, you get into the family plan. You're gonna save $960 over the course of a year. Then there's two other strategies that I would highlight on the switching and saving front. Credit cards. Everybody has a credit card right? So, right now we know interest rates are above 20%. So if you have a credit card and you have a $10,000 debt on that card, let's say, and you're paying that 20%, you're paying $2,000 a year in interest, what's the switch, go from you that high interest rate credit card to a 0%, teaser rate, you're gonna get those, you know, in the mail in your email inbox, take up one of those offers, go to a 0% offer for 12 or 18 months, and then save yourself that $2,000, right. And then finally, people who have kids, I'm at the tail end of it, Jamila because my youngest is 18. Now, and she's about to, you know, go off to college. But you know, obviously, I know people who have young kids, and they're finding that childcare costs a fortune, right? $10,000 a year or so for daycare 20,000 for a nanny, well use this method that I call the nanny share. And it's not like I made it up. It's just an observation, that families who live in assembler are in a local community, instead of spending $10,000, or $20,000. If you have a kid who's in that, you know, kind of five and under phase, and you need to care for them, you team up with another local family, two or more families share the cost of having the same nanny at the same hours, you'll cut your costs in half if it's two families, or you'll be paying a third if it's three families. So again, you'll say 510 $15,000 or so just by using these, these switch and save strategies for the stuff that we're really all spending money on. And frankly, people are not going to just stop altogether.

Jamila Souffrant 22:02

I Jamila here, host of this podcast and author of the book, your journey to financial freedom, a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness. Just a few years ago, I was in a job I didn't like with a long commute. feeling stuck, I knew there had to be a different better way. Then I found the pathway to financial freedom and financial independence. Today, I have more money, options and freedom than I ever thought was possible. And in my book, Your journey to financial freedom. I'll show you how you can achieve that too. You will learn how to spend and save responsibly, all while enjoying that spicy Margarita and extra side of guacamole. To determine where you are on the journey and evaluate your spending and saving goals accordingly. Quit your job, retire early, or reach financial independence. My book your journey to financial freedom a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness is out now and available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and more, you can even listen to the audiobook narrated by me go to your journey to financial to get a free bonus when he ordered the book and see all the places to buy it. Once again, go to your journey to financial As you were talking about not necessarily cutting things back, but maybe scaling back or finding a more frugal or cheaper way to do it. I was thinking about how much harder it is for younger generations, even my generation. And below like my kids now they're super young, the oldest is nine. But you know now with social media, and I just feel like it maybe it's me, I feel like this is maybe getting older, it's feeling like all the things are interested in like even the songs and the people who are influencing them like core popular, like they are talking about looking a certain way and having a certain thing. And so those influences. It's like you're fighting against, you know, the system and consumerism. And even though there are a lot of fast, not that these are great, right? Because those fast, slow cost brands aren't really good for the environment either like to buy your clothes or other things. But I do feel like there's this friction for people of you know, like, it's supposed to be like luxury, and I'm supposed to be you know, living my best life. And why do I have to cut back on what I deserve, versus this more savvy way of thinking. But then you still want to be good to the environment, and not go super cheap. So I feel like so many people are pulled in all these directions when making these decisions,

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 24:29

right? And a great point that you make here, Jamila because honestly, there's trade offs and everything. And nothing is going to be perfect, like the 100% solution that works for every single person. And that solves all the problems all at once. Right. So first you kind of deal with a mindset and you think about like what are my own goals? What are my values, right? So if you say I want to be more kind to myself, right? I want to to prioritize my mental health, if you say I want to be present and cognizant of what I'm doing to the environment, then you're going to start making certain choices, everything is not going to be perfect. Are you going to say, Okay, I'm never ever in life going to fly, even though I want to reduce my carbon footprint, etc. But does that mean you're never going to fly? No, probably not. Right? So we have to realize that there are trade offs, right. And there's things that we can do, and things that according to ourselves, that we should do, I use that word should in quotes, because, again, it's not for us as personal finance experts or, or, or anybody else, to kind of wag our fingers, or to shame people or to say what you should do. No, we should be quiet about what somebody else needs to do, we should mind our own business, and let people decide for themselves. As my good friend, Sondra Davis says, people know best for themselves, right? It's not for me as a money coach, and as an expert to decide for somebody else, you know, part of a really productive, empathetic coaching process is to help somebody to discover for themselves what they want, right? And for them to kind of bring that out. So part of it, though, is recognition that you can't get everything all at once, right, you know, so I help people to, you know, have that realization, when they're struggling with multiple decision points, because some people will say things like, I want to pay off my credit card debt, I want to save money, I want to increase my credit rating. And I want to, you know, I want to buy a house, and I want to save for my kid and I'm trying to go, you know, start a business as well. Okay, I'm not saying that you can't reach all of those goals. But it's almost like my husband described it like a cruise ship, that's on a 10 day, Caribbean cruise, you're going to hit six or seven ports, right. But you can't hit all the ports at once. It's in sequence. So which one are you prioritizing which one comes first, you can only be in one port at a time. So by the same token, from a financial perspective, and from a practical standpoint, all of those goals that you might have saving money paying for, you know, a degree if you want to go back to school, starting a business, buying a house or improving your credit, etc. paying off your credit card debt, you're going to have to prioritize and say, Okay, which one is the most important to me. And if it's most important that I have to get rid of this debt, then you put more resources more time and effort and energy on that, because that's in alignment with your values and what you want to do. And then once you check that off the list, then you can go on to the next one, that's like going to your next port, right? And then you keep it keep it moving accordingly. But it doesn't mean that you can't do you know some of those things simultaneously. But it's just that you can't do everything all at once with the same level of, you know, intensity. So if you say, I have $1,000, and what should I do? And I need to say I need to pay off debt, what should I do? Chances are, I'm going to ask you what's more important to you. And then if you say, absolutely bar none, it's the debt, I want to get rid of the debt, I'm gonna say, Well prioritize that put, you know, most of your money, if you have this $1,000, to allocate, put 800 towards knocking out the debt and put 200 into savings. Now you, you know, you have a little bit of savings. So you can make sure that if an emergency happens, you get a flat tire or something. And now you don't have to just whip out the credit card and add to your debt, because you do have some cash cushion, some reserves set aside to deal with that as well.

Jamila Souffrant 28:49

Right now, you talked about discrimination. And I'd love to touch upon that. Because that can come in many forms, whether it is you know, in your job or through your job, and then even applying for, you know, whether it's opportunities or credit card, and just in general. So let's talk about how that impacts people in their money and what if and if there's anything they can do about it? Sure.

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 29:12

Well, unfortunately, there's a lot of systemic problems in this country, not just from a racial discrimination standpoint, although we know that that's definitely the case. And that contributes in large part to why we have so much inequality, not just in terms of the black white wealth gap. We know that white households have about eight times the net worth, as do black households. But discrimination comes in many forms from the LGBTQ couple who has denied housing, and then has to go and rent or live someplace else that's more costly for them to the woman on the job who is not getting promoted because As the boss she has is biased against women and who is curtailing her ability to thrive and grow and to have a higher and a bigger paycheck to people who are disabled, who are discriminated against in so many ways. And that affects them, you know, financially as well, people who might not even give them an opportunity to have a job at all, because some employers aren't willing to make reasonable accommodations. So people who are older, who are 5060 and older who are discriminated against, in a whole host of ways to maybe there are let go, because employers don't want to have to pay more seasoned workers, the salary that they married and deserve. So there's all of these ways in which people can be discriminated against, that affect us, not only emotionally, but certainly financially as well. It bounced back, I talk about, I share different stories of discrimination, including my own story with housing discrimination. And we know of course, that unfortunately, in America, about 70% of the typical Americans net worth is tied to housing and is tied to their home. And about 75% of white people own their own homes, but only 45% of black people do. And again, one of the reasons is we've had a huge amount of systemic and historic and ever present to this day discrimination, discrimination in terms of banking, while black discrimination in terms of lending bias discrimination in terms of the appraisal gap. And the appraisal bias or the appraisal gap is one of the forms of discrimination that I experienced. Long story short, I lived in New Jersey, I lived in a predominantly white area that was an affluent community. My husband and I were going to get our house refinanced. We had a lender who sent out an appraiser, the guy came through, took one look at us, like maybe he was surprised you look to be surprised that a black couple lived in this neighborhood. And he kind of, you know, sped through the house very quickly. And when we tried to do what we know to do, because we are not only homeowners, but we you know, we invest in real estate, etc. We gave him a sheet or attempted to that showed here's the upgrades and improvements for the house. That kind of thing. He was like, Oh, I'm like, I don't need that. And he just kind of dismissed us and kind of, you know, again, sped through the house, we knew we were like, Oh, that's not gonna be good. There's not gonna be a good number. And you know, So sure enough, he came back with an appraisal value for our house, that was about $100,000 less than market value. We immediately contested we went to this lender and said, This is not accurate. We showed them comps, you know, our own assessments for recent sales that had happened in our neighborhood. And they agreed to send back out another appraisal. This guy, we were shocked. It was a black man who came out because frankly, there's only like, fewer than, you know, four or 5% of all appraisers in this country are black. So this guy came out. We didn't say anything to him about what it transpired. But I love he just knew he was the second one to come out. I'm not sure. But he told us something that shocked us. He said this, this picture on the wall right here, which was a family picture of us, my husband and I with our three kids. He was like removed, can you remove this picture? And we were like, what? And my husband was like, he said, Oh, just take down the family photos. He was trying to tell us to make our house race neutral. And to not have images that show that there was a black family in this in this home. And my husband was livid. He was so mad, he was so weak. We have to like go to the side for a minute and think about this one and talk about it and I was like honey, let's let's just get the deal done. Let's just just do it, you know? So we went ahead and we did what he said man photograph the house. He took copious notes. He you know, measured very carefully did a lot more frankly than other guy did. Came back. Yes. The whole thing was 100,000. Higher was normal market rate. And you know, the transaction went through and it was it wasn't a problem after that point. But the appraisal gap is real that In black people who live in white neighborhoods will often have our homes assessed at a market value that's less than our white neighborhood neighbors, or black people who just live in black neighborhoods that are predominantly black. You know, the the appraisals come in lower than they should be. So what can you do about this type of discrimination, there's a whole bunch of things. And you know, I talked about having a stand in, I talked about calling out anytime you have any kind of discrimination, about calling it out and challenging it. And using facts and documentation. I talked about having allies, if you're in the workplace, and you've been subjected to discrimination, and hat tip to Minda hearts for this, she wrote a book, as you know, called the memo, if it's discrimination against women, if it's discrimination against black people's discrimination against somebody who is otherwise abled, if it's discrimination against somebody who has LGBTQ identification or status, you have to call it out, because being silent, lets the problem continue. Right. Drawing upon allies is also a way to deal with discrimination, and then advocacy, we have to vote the right way, we have to have the right policy makers, we have to make sure that from a not only a business standpoint, or legislative standpoint, but even from a community standpoint, that the issues that are important to us, the things that matter, are voiced and are tended to. So those will be some some things that I would I would stress in terms of dealing with discrimination in a way that can be very effective.

Jamila Souffrant 36:51

And like you said, this happens a lot of areas in life, sometimes we don't necessarily, I'm not gonna say see it, because I feel like it happens, right. But then there are some times where, unfortunately, you take on more work or effort to work around it or to work within, you know, a means of a place that you feel that you're not being treated fairly. But again, it does come back to this idea of what's the best that I can do in this situation for myself. And maybe that does mean in, in the case of appraisal, or by selling a house, like you have to do that. But in the sense of maybe a environment or a system that you can remove yourself from. And maybe sometimes that does mean taking a hit on your income or opportunities, but it's necessary, for

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 37:40

sure. And it also Jamila, I also talked about, remember when I talked about having the right people having support and those connections. So when you've been discriminated against, that's trauma also, right. And so one of the things that I think we should be doing is also not just having allies who might not be if you're gay, let's say not just having allies who are not gay, not if you're black, not just having allies who are not black, right, but also in terms of having the right people who will advocate for you, who will either go to the mat for you, but in a way that is productive and helpful. And that advances, whatever it is that you need to get addressed. Right. So on the discrimination front. Sometimes the ally that we need is a therapist, sometimes the ally is a friend who can just be there to listen and to give comfort, but to also say no, you're not crazy. And what you experienced was real. Because sometimes we might question it, we might say, well, because I miss read that or it might be a microaggression. And we might think like maybe I'm just being too sensitive, but it's like, no, no, that was real. That was a real thing that that that wasn't okay. So again, having the right people in your life can help you to be able to build your resilience, Build Your Capacity to recover from these things that can sometimes be not only financially harmful, but emotionally devastating as well.

Jamila Souffrant 39:19

Now, I know that there are a lot of other DS and just great information in the book that people can definitely pick up to learn more about, but what is just, you know, as we end and close this out, what is just if someone's listening to this, and they are going through a hard time or they want to be doing better, and they are experiencing like a setback. What's that one thing or a couple things that they can do after listening that can either help them feel better or actually put them in a better position? Sure.

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 39:48

Well, I talked about processing, what you've been through when we were talking about job loss and downsizing, but honestly, processing is something that happens throughout any setback that you've experienced, because really what you have to do is recognize that there's a new you that's going to emerge. So, change happens to us abruptly, you lost your job you got in a car accident, you know, you are better equipped to deal with any setback that life throws your way. I

Jamila Souffrant 40:21

love that. Please tell everyone where they can find the books and more about you.

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 40:27

Sure, they can go to my free financial advice site, which is ask the money or my personal website, Lynette Cavani And the books of bounce back and the bounce back workbook are everywhere. Books are sold on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and your local bookstores and libraries, and so forth.

Jamila Souffrant 40:49

We'll put some of those links in the episode shownotes, where you're listening to this episode, just click More or read more. And Linda, thank you so so much for coming back on the show. It was a pleasure to talk to you.

Lynnette Khalfani Cox 41:01

Thank you Jamila. And again, I continue to be so impressed and appreciative of the work that you're doing.

Jamila Souffrant 41:07

Thank you. Don't forget, you can get the episode show notes for this episode by going to journey to or click the description of wherever you're listening to this. And you can still grab your jumpstart guide for free to help you on your journey to financial freedom by going to journey to launch comm slash Jumpstart. If you want to support me and the podcast and love the free content and information that you get here, here are four ways that you can support me in the show. One, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast wherever you listen, whether that's Apple podcasts, that purple app on your phone, your Android device, YouTube, Spotify, wherever it is that you happen to listen, just subscribe so you are not missing an episode. And if you're happening to listen to this and Apple podcasts, rate review and subscribe there I appreciate and read every single review. Number two follow me on my social media accounts. I'm at journey to launch on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And I love love love interacting with journeyers. They're three support and check out the sponsors of this show. If you hear something that interests you, sponsors are the main ways we keep the podcast lights on here. So show them some love for supporting your girl for and last but not least, share this episode this podcast with a friend or family member or co worker so that we can spread the message of Journey to launch. Alright, that's it until next week, keep on journeying journeyers

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