Barbara Huson, veteran finance coach and best-selling author of 10+ personal finance books, joins the podcast to talk about reframing your negative money narratives, why neuroscience plays a fundamental role in how we process, navigate, and spend money, and the validity of wanting more money.
We also discuss why operating from fear may be the secret to success and how the fear of being perceived as greedy undervalues you.
In this episode you’ll learn more about:
- The connection between the brain and mind… and how to mold them
- 3 ways to rewire your brain for financial success
- What the outer work, inner work, higher work, and deeper work of wealth are
- How to increase self efficacy, being open about wanting more money in your career, + more
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- Twitter: @JourneyToLaunch
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Barbara Huson 0:02
Let's say you're having a thought about, I'm not enough, or I don't have enough. And every time you think that thought, I don't have enough or have enough, or I'm not enough, or I'm nobody, that thoughts goes into the brain, all these chemicals and electrical impulses are released, and it deepens the current neural pathway, or it starts building the new. Your body literally gets addicted to those chemicals. And so, when you go to change your body screens, your brain screams No, no, don't do that.
T-Minus 10 seconds. Welcome to the journey to launch podcast with your host jameelah. So frogs as a money expert who wants her talk, she helps brave juniors like you get out of debt, save, invest and build real Whoa. Join her on the journey to launch to financial freedom in 321.
Hey, hey, hey, real real quick, it's Jamila, here and I have some exciting news to share with you. My first book, your journey to financial freedom, a step by step guide to achieving wealth and happiness is finally available for pre order. That's right. You can pre order my book right now. Today, the book is officially out December 5 2023. But you do not have to wait that long to get some resources and information to help you. If you preorder the book today, I'm giving you some fabulous bonuses that will help you with your financial freedom and independence journey. I'm giving you the Financial Toolkit for free. When you preorder the book, you'll get the debt payoff matrix workbook, the goal fuel worksheet, the financial goals workbook and the retirement account questionnaire, my most effective and FE resources to share with you for free, go to journey to launch.com/book To get your copy to pre order that book today.
If you want the episode show notes for this episode, go to journey to launch.com or click the description of wherever you're listening to this episode. In the show notes. You'll get the transcribed version of the conversation, the links that we mentioned and so much more. Also, whether you are an OG journeyer, or brand new to the podcast, I've created a free jumpstart guide to help you on your financial freedom journey. It includes the top episodes, so listen to stages to go through to reach financial freedom, resources and so much more. You can go to journey to launch that comm slash jumpstart to get your guide right now. Okay, let's hop into the episode.
Hey, hey, hey journeyers welcome to a special episode of the journey to launch podcast, I am giving you the best of rewind episodes of the journey to launch podcast, I have gone through the archives, you know, we have over 300 episodes so far of the podcast, I can't believe it. And some of these episodes. If you're just listening and finding out about the podcast, you may not have heard it yet. Or if you're a longtime listener, hey there, and you've been down with me for a while, maybe you need to rehear these episodes. So I've selected from the archives some of my fave conversations that I want you to re listen to. So this one that you're going to hear I picked it special for a reason. I would love for you to listen to it for the first time or listened to it again. And let me know what you think the show notes for these episodes will be updated with current contact information for these guests. Because since it may have been a year or a couple of years since I've spoken to them, they may have updated their information. So if you want their new information, look for wherever you're listening to this podcast episode and in the description. It will have any updated links that you need. And of course, the episode shownotes are at Journey to launch.com Stay tuned. I have so much amazing content, new content, new episodes, a lot of updates for you about my new book coming out December 5, you can go to journey to launch.com/book to learn more about it and any of the preorder bonuses, you can get that for free by pre ordering right now. And just what's going on with the business with me, you'll hear a lot more of that really soon. So I can't wait for you to hear this episode. And as usual, follow me at journey to launch on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook and let me know what you think. Alright journeyers let's get into it.
Jamila Souffrant 4:44
Hey, Journeyers. Welcome, welcome back. No, I am always getting inbound requests, which I guess comes with the territory now as having a podcast that people are listening to, especially from authors right which you know, when it comes to personal finance especially Books are on money, a lot of it can sometimes repeat itself, right the way that the author writes or just the content. And so when I got the email from Barbara, who you'll hear, Formula Bar, Barbara Stanny. But now Barbara Hewson, her team reached out about coming on about her new book that she has out. And it's not this your book, Barbara, like the new one that you had, you have such an incredible like, history of writing really impactful books in personal finance. I was excited to finally like, you know, have you on the show and to have you actually share your insight on everything I can't even like really pinpoint yet its subject. But I want to talk about, obviously, your new book, and then your previous work, but I just want to welcome you to the podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Barbara.
Barbara Huson 5:47
Thank you, thank you for having me, I really appreciate it.
Jamila Souffrant 5:51
I actually started to read your book. And I was really impressed by how you merged all the things that I actually find, whether it's the real personal finance, like the the metrics, and the numbers, but also like the emotional and psychological and the neuroscience of it, which is what you did with this latest book. And so I want you to talk through, because I love there's a point in your book where you said, you've lost the passion with your work at some point. And then you open an article and I was reading about neuroscience. And he was like, That's it. That's the missing link on to why people are not sticking or having the results they want with their finances. So I want you to talk me through what led you to your newest work of art with your book and how you knew that this piece of neuroscience was what was going to be your next passion and helping people.
Barbara Huson 6:40
So I've been working with women and coaching them financially for 25 years. And let me just kind of give you a little background because honestly, of course, every book I write is what I want to learn every book, because I grew up, not knowing squat about money. I grew up wealthy. I grew up very wealthy. My father was the art of h&r block. And the only advice he ever gave with me about money was Don't worry. And so I didn't, I thought that was great advice. But it turns out a married man who was a compulsive gambler, I didn't know it, he was a stockbroker. But he turned out to be a compulsive gambler, and he lost a fortune of my money. And I'm not stupid, I have a graduate degree. But I continued to let him manage the money because that's how terrified I was by anything financial. And finally, after our divorce, I decided I didn't want to I did not want to deal with money. Well, I have this theory, if you don't deal with money, your money will deal with you. And I got tax bills for over a million dollars, I did not have over a million dollars. It was for back taxes. My ex didn't paper legal deals, he got us in, he left the country, my father wouldn't lend me the money. And that's when I knew I had to get smart because I had three little ones. And I did not want to read them on the street. And I couldn't figure money out, figure it out. My eyes would glaze over, my brain would fog up. And I was working as a journalist. And for the San Francisco Business Times, and I got hired for free Doug's project to interview women that were smart with money. And those interviews changed my life. And I wrote, I not only got smart about money, but I wrote my first book, Prince Charming isn't coming. A woman gets smart about money. And then I've written I'm now on my eighth book. But for me, it's always been a struggle to make money, to figure out money to make money. And always I write my books, because I want to know, and my latest book, which is called rewire for wealth. So I've been helping women, empower women financially, for like I said, over 20 years and about six years ago, and I love what I do. I love what I do. It's like It's like what I was born to do. It's like, it's my god given destiny. But about about six, seven years ago, I started losing interest. And it's like, something's missing. I don't know if it's something missing in my life, that I shouldn't be working anymore, but something was missing. And so I think it's very important that we get these signs, these internal signs to pay attention. I could have powered through, but I didn't. I stepped back. And I prayed and I said if something's missing show me. So I was just, you know, I was going on was on my email. I was looking in my inbox. The article about neuroscience showed up. And I knew nothing about neuroscience. But as I read that article, it's like something in me just went Ding ding ding ding, like a slot machine. You won. You won the prize, bing bing, bing, bing. And suddenly I thought this is the missing piece. And if I could integrate neuroscience the study of the brain with the other components, I have long been work Dealing with with the psychology, the study of the mind, spirituality, particularly mind training is taught by their numerous spiritual approaches, and personal finance. I thought I had something there. And so I started practicing on my clients, I started giving retreat. I started just modifying it. And I came up with this next book.
Jamila Souffrant 10:28
Yeah, and I'm actually glad you walk through the history of just you writing things that you needed at the moment. And in your book, I love that you gave a reference. So when you talked about earning money, and you said that someone said you were you are under earning. And so one of your books that actually people recommend or talk about a lot is overcoming and under earning. And that wasn't the book where you wrote where you said, you were interviewing the six figure women, was it? Or was it
Barbara Huson 10:53
what happened is, after I wrote, Prince Charming as a coming, I got very savvy about money, I understood how to manage it, you know, but I didn't know how to make it. And I was traveling all over the country. And I didn't know how to make it. And I remember going to this financial counselor. And she said to me, Barbara, you're an under earner. And I said, No, I'm not. I'm a writer, because everyone new writers make money. And that was the beginning of me, trying to figure out how to overcome under earning.
Jamila Souffrant 11:24
And here's the thing, guys listening journey is listening. You were in the space talking about money already, and still had a blind spot, still yourself was not what there was demanding your worth and your market and understanding your market. But you still had these hiccups within the personal finance space, teaching other women and people to make and handle their money.
Barbara Huson 11:48
Oh, honey, I always say to everywhere, I've been doing this for 25, over 25 years, when I got it all together, I'm out of here. And I still haven't gotten it all together. There's always something more to learn. There's always challenges. It's not about being perfect. It's about being as good as you can be.
Jamila Souffrant 12:10
But I love that because it just shows the realness. And even I relate to that so much. Because while people look to me as an expert in the space, and I'm leading them on their financial journey, I am still within my own journey on when it comes to mind money blocks and mind money hang ups about earning and like all that still happening within me. But I just love that you were so real about just like your realization that wow, I'm not earning enough myself.
Barbara Huson 12:35
But I love that you're using you're being transparent like this. Because the world needs role models, like you just say you don't have to have it altogether, to what you're here to do. We are here to serve. And if we wait to where perfect or we got it all together, then we're not doing what we're here to do. And that's a waste of a life.
Jamila Souffrant 12:58
Yeah, I want to get into the neuroscience part of this. Because you know, the personal finance, like the logistics of you know, you need to budget the you need to earn more, you need to spend less, kind of like investing one on one all like the things that we can get informational wise, like there are tons of articles and podcasts and courses to find that even with the spiritual part of it. I do love that now adays maybe it's just me because I'm becoming more spiritual and more aware of my own, just how I move in the world, and how like, you know, my energy levels and how that relates to the money, that I see more of it in other people's work. So that's good, but I think people kind of get that too. Like, there is a spiritual side to money, but the neuroscience piece of it like so even if you get all that other stuff, right? Even if you get like the, you know, you understand like what a 401 K is. And even if you know you feel like you have a strong spiritual groundedness you know, in your beliefs, and you know, you have a positive mindset and all this stuff. If you don't understand how your like brain is wired. That still is like the missing link to why things don't connect. Right?
Barbara Huson 14:06
Exactly. Because we may know we need to contribute to our retirement. So why aren't we doing it? We may know we need to follow a budget. So why aren't we doing it? We may know we need to save more. So why aren't we doing it? And that's, that's where I was very interested. And so what neuroscience taught me is that the mind and the brain work together. The brain isn't physical organ in our skull, and it works on electrical chemical impulses, and the brain controls all our behavior. inhaling exhaling. Saving spending is all controlled by our brain. The mind is not an organ, the mind is a non physical entity. That is the source of our thoughts and feel likes and to work in tandem. What flows through the mind changes the brain, what flows to the mind reinforces what's in the brain. So if you want to change your behavior, which the mind controls, you must change your thoughts, which, because the brain that the mind is the master, the brain is the servant. And so however, the brain does not want to be changed the brain, those if we thought that you think, let's say you're having a thought about, I'm not enough, or I don't have enough. And every time you think that thought, I don't have enough, I'll have enough, or I'm not enough, or I'm nobody. That thought goes into the brain, all these chemicals and electrical impulses are released, and it deepens the current neural pathway, or it starts building a new one. The key is, how do you shift your thoughts, but it's not just shifting your thoughts. Because those neural pathways are so strong, they're like, they have the force of gravity, that they'll actually suck you in, like, just suck you in, and you feel helpless to change plots. When you go to change the box, those chemicals that release, your body literally gets addicted to those chemicals. And so when you go to change, your body's screams, your brain screams No, no, don't do that. And then every time you're tired or stressed, you just can't find it. You just can't find it. So I created a simple, but not easy, but simple system to help you shift your thoughts. Shifting your thoughts is not the hard part. It's making sure they reprogram the brain. That is where the challenges.
Jamila Souffrant 17:01
Yeah, I love that you went through that. Because for someone like myself, who's getting more into the like, spiritual and just mindfulness and it's been there, but now definitely integrating it in my work. And as entrepreneur in my business, right? Sometimes I'm just like, Okay, I just want spirituality like that should just be enough. Like, if I meditate and I, you know, think positive, that should be enough to change my reaction to certain things or my behavior to certain things. And I realized that's not like what you're saying, like with the brain, like your brain is such like the ego, the monkey mind is so persistent, to keep you beholden to, you know, that.
Barbara Huson 17:41
There's, there's another part to that, yeah. So there's all this talk about the law of attraction, right? We get what we focus on, we want a new car, we think only about the car, we imagine ourselves driving the car, we imagine we have the money coming in. But the problem is what they don't talk about is the law congruence. And that is it's a universal law that we get what we want, not what we ask for. So let's say you are asking for more money, I want more money, I want to be wealthy. But if a part of you, if what you do if a part of you thinks that money is bad, or the people who have it are bad, or people won't like you, if you have it, then that's not what you really want. What you want is to stay safe to be liked. And that's how your brain is wired. And here's the thing, your brain is wired by your beliefs. And so there's such a thing called confirmation bias, that you will not see anything, your brain will not literally not see anything that contradicts your beliefs. If your thought is I don't have enough, I don't have enough. And you're it's wired in the brain brain, then unconsciously, you will start behaving in ways that will make sure you don't have enough. And this can be very frustrating. Right? willpower alone will never do it. It will never do it. And we make ourselves crazy. And then we feel bad when we feel terrible, which only gets embedded in our brain that we're awful. And we're lazy and we're losers and all of that.
Jamila Souffrant 19:25
Yeah, it's okay. So I know right now everyone's like, alright, you convinced me, it's not just willpower. There's wiring that I need to do to my brain. So what is that process? What does it look like to do that?
Barbara Huson 19:36
Okay, I will tell you, I will tell you the process. I will tell you this three steps. I will explain them a little bit. And then I'll maybe I'll give examples while I'm explaining I don't know what I'm going to do. Okay? The three steps are, recognize, reframe, and respond differently. Okay, recognize, reframe and respond differently. Recognize It means you, you notice when you are having a negative thought, you just notice, you observe it like an objective bystander, you say, Oh, I'm having a thought that I'm stupid. I'm having a thought that I can't do this. I'm having a thought that I don't have what it takes. So you have that thought. And you notice, now with judgment, not with criticism, you notice with curiosity, isn't that interesting? I'm having a thought about. So first of all, you can't change anything until you're aware of it. So this creates awareness. Second, by saying, isn't that interesting? It creates a separation. Isn't that interesting? I'm having a thought about. And you say, and then you can say, that's the way my brains wired. It's not the truth. It's the way it was my parents Drew, it was my teachers truth, it was a society is not the truth. So when you can see that, when you recognize it, the second step is to reframe it. And that is the reframe. How can I see this differently? And there are gazillion ways and there's no one way and there's no, there's no right way. There's no wrong way. But the idea is to reframe it, to see it differently. I'll give you an example of mine. So last week, my team, we came up with this project that I was going to do. And I had never done a project like this. And I was so I felt like I didn't have what it takes. I just this this, and I've had this before. And I worked on it before, but I never really rewired. And it came up again, I don't have what it takes. And I started to just say and argue with my team. I don't want to do this. And my team was very persuasive and persuaded me. And I thought, okay, I noticed that I'm having a thought about I don't have what it takes. This is not the truth. It feels like the truth, but it's not the truth. It's been wired in me since childhood. And I know where it came from. Isn't that interesting? It's okay, how can I reframe that? And I said, Oh, I have what it takes. But that didn't feel to me. And so what I did is I played around with it for a few seconds, I thought I can handle this. That was my reframe. I can handle this, whatever comes up, I can handle this. So I'm showing you a little post it note I wrote, I can handle this. And so I didn't believe it. And you don't have to believe a reframe. You don't have to. But what you do is you reframe it. And then you replace it with your current thought. And then you respond differently. Well, what I wanted to do was nothing, I wanted to say I don't want to do this, I'm stopping. But what I did is I went ahead and I wrote the script, and I wrote the emails, and I did what I needed to do. And what happens is you keep doing is you keep recognizing, reframing and responding differently. Those old neural pathways get weaker, and the new neural pathways get stronger. And what once seemed like, nothing in my body or my brain wanted to write those scripts suddenly became easier. And I started getting ideas. Because when you reframe and you start reprogramming, your brain starts looking for ways to make that a reality. And the project was I had a great time doing the project.
Jamila Souffrant 23:30
And you talk about this, the self efficacy, did I say that right?
Barbara Huson 23:36
You did a great job.
Jamila Souffrant 23:37
I always get like, okay, so self efficacy trips up. Let's talk about that.
Barbara Huson 23:44
So, you know, something, you are the first person to ask me about that. And this is show they have found studies have found that the reason women aren't better with money, particularly with investing is they lack the confidence. Women, we know we want to get smart, we know we need to protect ourselves, and we really want to learn. And as you said in the beginning, there's so many resources out there, why don't we and it's because we lack the self efficacy and efficacy is the belief that I can succeed. It's the belief. It's not just the knowledge because when I wrote my first book, Prince Charming isn't coming. I can't tell you how many financial professionals, mortgage brokers stockbrokers, bankers came up to me and said, This is what I do for a living but my own finances are a mess. I see it and hear it all the time. Because while they have the knowledge, they don't have the efficacy. They don't have the belief that they can do it. And that's what needs to be programmed and and that's the way our brain needs to be rewired.
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Jamila Souffrant 25:54
If there's one thing that I could teach my children or pass down, because I do believe I have this, and even if there are things I don't think I can do, well, like I'm just like, I it's going to work, it's going to work, I'm gonna figure it out. Right? Like that's just my like, natural. It's not natural. Part of its natural, but part of it I work on, right. But this is the thing that if I could tell anyway, it's not about like being good at math. It's not about you know, being super disciplined, or having a natural ability about any of this stuff that we're talking about. Like if there's one thing I can like, just beam to everyone right now is this quality, because with this, like it doesn't even matter. Like you'll succeed at anything. And if it's not that first thing that you're looking to do the next thing you're like, it's really just like this idea that like there's no way you can fail, even when you fail. It's a launching pad for something else. It's just a powerful thing that I wish more people understood, and if they don't feel that way about themselves could start to figure out how to do that. So how can one do this now if they feel like they don't have this kind of belief in themselves.
Barbara Huson 26:52
That's where the rewiring comes. It comes from, you don't have to believe anything. I can tell myself, I can handle this. And I promise you, I did not believe it. But what's great is our brain is very malleable. They call it plastic. And it's always changing, always changing. And so if you tell yourself something often enough, not just tell yourself, act on it. And if you fall down, you get back up, and you keep going. Eventually the disbelief in your brain will weaken. And the belief those neural pathways, those neural circles will get stronger. Because it's Henry Ford once said, Believe you can believe you can't. Either way you'll be right. So it is up to us to strengthen the neural pathways that have us believing we can do it.
Jamila Souffrant 27:53
Yeah, and you know, oftentimes you say this in the book, like our ego has a lot to do with what prevents us from going I just want to read like this excerpt because I thought it was really good. So it says, the ego urges you to hide and craves the comfort of the familiar, the soul pushes you to shine favoring the uncertainty of the unknown. We're all success lies. The ego makes excuses. The soul takes action. The ego focuses on your flaws, constantly comparing yourself to others insisting you're either better than or less than the soul is filled with compassion for self and others remind you of your gifts. Here's what you need to firmly keep in mind, the ego always speaks first and loudest. So I thought that this again, goes back into why you know, if you're listening to this, and you're picking up patterns on why maybe certain things are not working, you tried before and things are not working that picking up on what's really, what do you what's that voice that you listen to the one that speaking loudest, usually which is the ego. Right?
Barbara Huson 28:52
So can you elaborate a little bit on that?
Jamila Souffrant 28:54
Barbara Huson 28:54
Tt was fun hearing you read my words back to me. It's very fun. I have to tell you, when you write your next book, you will understand what I'm talking about.
Jamila Souffrant 29:03
Well, my first book, I haven't written my first one yet.
Barbara Huson 29:06
I know you haven't. But that's your next book.
Jamila Souffrant 29:08
Barbara Huson 29:11
I have a feeling you're gonna write a book. I don't know why. Okay, anyway, that's another thing. So we all have two voices in our head, as you said. One is the ego and one is the soul. The ego is not bad. The eagle sole purpose is to protect you. And it learned how to protect you when you were a child. What you learned as a child how to survive. And survival for a child means getting love, attention and approval. So you learn very often, and your ego learned very on how to get love, attention and approval. But what helped us survive as a child will suffocate as an adult. So I learned very early My mother told me very early when I was three years old, my earliest memory and I asked her How much money she had. And she looked at me. And it was like, I got the message, you do not talk about money. So my ego, when I was going through, my husband was losing all my money. And I was in psycho analysis three times a week, I never talked to him about money. Because my ego said, never talk about money, never talk about money. So you have to understand all these old voices and the ego. It's not the truth, it's a lie. And that's what's keeping you back. So the idea is, you can't quiet the ego, you have to find a way to say thank you for sharing, and then tune into your soul. And your soul is to direct contact with the divine, with your highest truth with your highest purpose. And you need to get quiet to listen to your soul. You need to be in stillness, which is hard for people, but to listen to your soul, and that is where your truth and your purpose and the way forward resides.
Jamila Souffrant 31:00
Yeah, yeah. And the thing about it is, so you talk about this again, in the book, you say that the softer side of talking about money is often kind of looked down on like, you know, people need the tools and give them the tools and like the direct instruction, and in a world dominated, which maybe I'm in a bubble, because I see so many women with platforms now on money. I'm like, oh, there's I feel like there's so many more women in the space. But really, I do feel like sometimes people just like, okay, inspiration is not enough. Motivation is not enough. I'm lucky. But you know what, I think that actually is the biggest motivating factor on providing change, because the budget, the templates, the tools, they're there, they're there for people, I want to get into that a bit. Because people sometimes discount like the feeling, just feeling good. And what that does for someone.
Barbara Huson 31:52
So I remember when I was writing one of my books, and a pollster, for a big polling company that was doing a big service study on women and money for one of the major financial firms and brokerage houses. And I remember he called and was kind of picking my brain about women and money. And one day when he called he had just come back from a focus group, where there were, he had a bunch of women talking about money. And I said, What did you learn at this focus group, and this was a while ago, and he said, Oh, my God, it's such an emotional subject for women. And I thought, well, da, but the, the financial industry is very male oriented, theory, male oriented, there are so many women like yourself, now going into financial education, and there are women in the financial industry, but it is very male oriented. And so much of the financial education is geared towards men. And dealing with emotions, is considered touchy feely. And it's very, men convey me very condescending about that. Because men are very out of touch, generally speaking with their emotions. So yeah, it's very important. So for me, getting smart or smarter about money, because it never ends, is really a four pronged process. I used to think it was three, but now it's four. And that is what I call the outer work of wealth, the inner work of wealth, the higher work of wealth, and the deeper work of wealth. And the outer work of wealth is you know, understanding the difference between a stock and a bond and how to do retirement planning, and how to negotiate a raise and all the things which are very important. But if like me, you get stuck on the outer work, then it's really important to go to the inner work, looking at your attitudes, beliefs, and early decisions you made about yourself and money that may be holding you back. And there's the higher work because, honestly, once women are financially stable, once we have a roof over our head, and food on the table, once we have enough, very few of us are motivated by more money, we want to I mean, we want to make more money, no question, I want to make more money. But what motivates us is wanting to help others wanting to make a difference. And that's what I call the higher work. So sometimes to get women motivated. The financial industry tends to rely on fear, oh my god, 90% of the women are going to be single and have to manage money, all these fear based messages. But really what motivates us is the higher work, I believe we are all here for a purpose. We are all here to do what God put us here to do. And we can't do that work if we're struggling to make ends meet. And so the hiring work is really looking at why you're here, how you need to serve and how you can use money to support that. And then there's that deeper work of wealth which is the mind body connection, which is understanding on the mind. And the brain work together to rewire. To create the life you want to live.
Jamila Souffrant 35:07
Yeah, this you're saying make millions help millions and give millions.
Barbara Huson 35:12
So what happened? Yes. So what happened is after I wrote my third book, which was overcoming under earning, and I was making six figures, and I had been for quite a few years, one night, I woke up, like, just straight up in bed, the middle of the night. And I had this new goal, I want to make millions helped millions give millions. And that led to my fourth book, which is sacred success. Of course, in financial miracles.
Jamila Souffrant 35:38
Purposely if you put make millions first, I'm assuming because the not wanting to seem really or all about money would want to say, oh, I should put helped millions. First I want to like lead with helping people first and then I'll make money. And then I'll give it but I like actually reading this again, like, purposely make money is the first thing for making money. Yeah.
Barbara Huson 36:01
It's like, what do they tell you on an airplane? put your mask on first? Because if you don't take care of yourself, your notion to take care of others?
Jamila Souffrant 36:09
Yeah, a lot of us know this, right? I know, this, I know, you listening, you know, this, like just on a surface level. But the blocks that come in in terms of making more money, because you don't want to seem like you're taking advantage of anyone, you know, like especially I think as a business owner, and even if maybe you are in within a corporate environment, and you work for like a boss or manager and you go and ask for a raise, there's these thoughts about what people perceive of you for having money. And so you have to lead with no, no, it's not about making money, I just want to help people which you can do both. It doesn't have to be either for
Barbara Huson 36:40
what's under that be something that's very unhealthy. Under that is a devaluing of yourself, that other people's opinions are more important, that money is bad, and will make you look bad. But there's a devaluing of yourself. And that's where we women get in trouble. We devalue ourselves, get give away our time, our knowledge, our experience for free or bargain prices, because we don't believe we're worth more. And the trouble with that is that it always leads to resentment. Eventually, it always leads to resentment, which is not good for our mental health or physical health. And it's not good for our relationships, either. I rather see. People value I want to see a woman value herself. I ended when I interviewed six and seven figure women, I always ask them, Are you doing what you're doing for the money? Everyone but to have 154 said, No, I'm not doing what I'm doing for the money. I'm doing it for the passion. I'm doing it for the recognition. I'm doing it for the challenge. But and here's what got me. But I damn well want to be well compensated because I know I'm worth it. And that is what leads to financial self efficacy is when we have to believe we are worth it.
Jamila Souffrant 38:08
Hmm, that self speaks to me. That really doesn't I know, yeah.
Barbara Huson 38:14
I even interviewed for my overcoming under earning book, a preacher, a minister. And she said, I always tell my congregants, don't give to the church for give to your family first give to you first, you make sure you are solid. And then you give to the church. You don't hear that very often. But she understood that of protecting yourself and your family.
Jamila Souffrant 38:39
And you know, the resentment that you talk about, that can come in the form of you know, you're in your job that you're on earning, you're not getting paid, you're worth income in your business to your client, it can come to just the way you now are putting work out into the world. And it's a self fulfilling prophecy where you're maybe not doing as much or your best because of the resentment.
Barbara Huson 38:57
But I don't I believe God does not want us to struggle. God does not want us to devalue ourselves. That's it. Okay. If I talk about God, yeah, yeah. Because I mean, whatever you believe in God, but there is a higher power, there's a greater intelligence out there to put us on this planet. And we are not meant to struggle, and we can serve others better. If we are financially secure and financially stable. We owe it to ourselves, we owe it to our families, we owe it to the world. And whoever said money is bad is wrong. It's a lie. Money is not bad. And money's not good. Money can't shoot a gun money can't bandage a wound. What's bad is the lack of self love. And it's the lack of self love. The creates the bad in the world.
Jamila Souffrant 39:51
Amazing. I mean, okay, so, for someone listening, what is other than picking up your book? What is something that they can start doing? Like, you know, I like to make things actionable for people listening. And if they're noticing, right that they are lacking some of these qualities and or self sabotaging themselves under earning not really demanding their work. What are some things right now I know you already talked about rewiring, and it's like about reframing, and you know this process, but what's something else that they can do around us, and behavior that they have that they know that needs to change, like, what's something they can do right now, like after listening
Barbara Huson 40:30
two things, can I do two things?
Jamila Souffrant 40:32
Yeah, two is fine.
Barbara Huson 40:34
It's really important to think I'm gonna say it really quick, and then do what you're scared to do. And surround yourself with support. Because success in anything, whether it's making more money or losing more weight, it always lies just outside our comfort zone. And the number one requirement for going to the next level, is the willingness to be uncomfortable. I have this favorite quote by Joseph Campbell. The cave you fear to enter is where your treasure lies. So my kids who are always in who are in their 30s and 40s. Now, they always call me when they get stuck or confused, or they're not happy about something. And they always say, What should I do? And they know exactly what I'm going to tell them. But they always say, What should I do? And I say, what are you most scared to do? And they tell me, and I say, that's what you need to do. So do what you scared when I know what you fear. It's what I call the stretch. It's what I learned from successful women. You do what you're scared to do. And that's how you succeed at the same time. That's scary as hell. So it's important to surround yourself with support to kind of push. Stay away from the naysayers from the pessimists from the worrywarts. They do not bad people, they're just scared. And you become familiar with. So spend time with people who are cheering you on. Look for role models, look for people who are doing what you're scared to do. Just surround yourself with support. So those two things.
Jamila Souffrant 42:07
Can you talk about some times that you done the scary thing that pushed you to the next level in your career, I'd love to hear that.
Barbara Huson 42:15
My whole life, I am always doing things that scare me. Oh my God. Every book I have ever written scares the bejesus out of me. Every book, but let's take my last book, I started writing. I read all this stuff. I read all about it. For four years, I worked on this, trying it out testing it out. So I went to write my proposal. Everything in my brain said, You are so stupid. No one's going to read this. My father always used to tell me that your stupid opinion. And sure enough, my brains that that's your stupid opinion. And I was so scared. And I worked on rewiring, I was so scared. But I knew my soul wanted me to do this. My soul gave me all this information. And I did it. And I did it. I had to go through this with eight books. And if I ever write another book, which right now, this is so fresh, I always say I'm never going to write another book. And my husband always says, Yes, you are. But if I ever do it, I know it's going to have to I will be scared and do it anyway. And just like this last project I was terrified to do. And I worked on rewiring it. That's, that's the way I have. I have this thing on my desk, scare yourself every day, surround yourself with support and make a difference in the world. And that's why I scare myself. So I can make a difference. At least one person's life.
Jamila Souffrant 43:35
Yeah, yeah. And you said even the book that when you opened up about like your spiritual, kind of like work with money, you were scared about how people were perceived that.
Barbara Huson 43:44
So spiritual was a very big part of my own process, especially of course, in miracles, we just spiritual text. It was a huge part. And I never told anyone, I never wrote about it. I've never talked about it. And finally, after I had this epiphany that I wanted to make millions helped millions and give millions. And I was going to, I decided I'm going to write about how spirituality, along with practical finance, along with a psychology really aided me in becoming financially savvy and scared to death. Scared to death. I'm always scared to mula I'm always scared.
Jamila Souffrant 44:25
I love and I know. So I'm getting so much benefit from this because there are some things seemed like you were you know, there are certain things that I probably while I do share a lot and I'm open there are some things where I'm just like, oh, I don't know, you know if I can want to share this just yet. And do I know how to communicate this in a way that makes sense that not that I needed to defend? But if someone says wait a second, why do you think that's like going to be helpful? You know, there's, there's just I know, for me, there's some unlearning of, despite where I am now, if I share it even more of these things like and nothing's something like crazy, but it's just like, just just my day to day, you know how I process things would even be more impactful. But it's also like, okay, but you have to be like willing to, like, put it out there and not be so afraid of any thoughts or opinions from other people.
Barbara Huson 45:16
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's second part. No, no, no. You can be afraid. There's no such thing as fearless at least for women in the world of work, and building our business, you can be afraid. I'm always afraid. I really am. I'm always afraid how people think. But I have a higher power. And I have a higher purpose. And that is that I want to serve. And I don't know, you've got to just take baby steps. Look, it took me how many years of writing how many books to like 10 people. The spiritual part was a big, big part to do what you can do what you can.
Jamila Souffrant 45:53
Yeah, yeah, I love this. Okay, so Barbara, please tell everyone where they can pick up your latest book, find out more about your work, and just follow you.
Barbara Huson 46:02
So my, my website's a really good place to start. It's Barbara. hyphen, Houston. Barbara, dash, Houston. I always say hyphen, because it's, you know, the alliteration. Barbara 100. Use them. But there's a dash because people don't know a hyphen, Barbara hyphen, hizam.com. And there's just a lot of information on there.
Jamila Souffrant 46:24
And the book again, save them kind of one more time,
Barbara Huson 46:27
rewire for wealth. Three Steps any woman can take to program her brain for financial success.
Jamila Souffrant 46:33
Yes. And I will link all that people can get it follow up with you and the episodes show notes. But this was an amazing conversation. I hope that this really was impactful for others as it was for me.
Barbara Huson 46:45
Thank you so much.
Okay, I hope you enjoyed that episode with Barbara Hewson. And you got some really, really good takeaways, you know, my goal for this podcast is not only to inspire you, and I get tons of messages I love when I get these messages, people just listening to the podcast that how you've been able to apply what you learn, right? So I want you to be inspired, I want you to have that fuel in you, as you listen, this is part of it, what I want you to take action, whether that is you know, looking into the guest, let's say a guest resonated with you and their book resonated with you go ahead, do not delay, go buy that book, there's a course or a program or something that you can get right now, that's going to take you to the next level, take some action, there is a you know, article that you need to read, there's a budget you need to make, take that action, take the action, don't let the momentum just slip away. And you know, you put it off to another day. So I'm hoping you got a lot of action steps from this interview with Barbara Hewson, I really really enjoyed what she had to say and super honored that she was on the podcast. And just, you know, as a quick aside, I wanted to just like, share this little story before the episode like before we taped the episode, you know, I always chat with guests before I press record. And one thing is that, you know, that stood out for me with Barbara is that she actually listened to the podcast, you know, she was like, you know, I checked out your podcast before I came on. And you know, I really enjoy your interview style. And you know, you really are good at what you do. And it was great. Because typically, you know, especially with someone like Barbara who has such a long history, and it's probably done a million interviews, you know, like, typically, like guests aren't as you know, researching me as the interviewer. And so I love that even at a career stage in this game, she was doing her due diligence on me. And that actually, if you're listening, Robert actually made me kind of nervous because I was like, Oh, so now I have to like really do well, I don't want to disappoint Barbara with my interview skills. So Barbara, I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did. And of course, don't forget to pick up Barbara's book, wire for wealth three steps every woman can take to program her brain for financial success. So go get that book.
Don't forget, you can get the episode show notes for this episode by going to journey to launch.com or click the description of wherever you're listening to this. And you can still grab your jumpstart guide for free to help you on your journey to financial freedom by going to journey to launch.com/jumpstart. If you want to support me and the podcast and love the free content and information that you get here, here are four ways that you can support me in the show. One, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast wherever you listen, whether that's Apple podcasts, that purple app on your phone, your Android device, YouTube, Spotify, wherever it is that you happen to listen, just subscribe so you're not missing an episode. And if you're happening to listen to this and Apple podcasts, rate review and subscribe there I appreciate and read every single review. Number two follow me on my social media accounts. I'm at journey to launch on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And I love love love interacting with journeys. They're three support We're in check out the sponsors of this show. If you hear something that interests you, sponsors are the main ways we keep the podcast lights on here. So show them some love for supporting your girl for and last but not least, share this episode this podcast with a friend or family member or co worker so that we can spread the message of Journey to launch. Alright, that's it until next week, keep on journeying journeyers
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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