Episode 256- Create Unstoppable Prosperity & Maximize Your Single Season With Anthony O’Neal

Anthony O'Neal 0:02

See if you do just get comfortable, or go on beyond, I got enough time, I don't have any responsibilities, but you will have some responsibilies soon. You will if you want to get married, have a whole family, that now, the caliber of your future is determined by the choices you make today. So if you didn't make the right choices tomorrow, that's going to impact your future. So make the right ones and maximize this season.

Intro 0:26

T-minus 10 seconds. Welcome to the Journey To Launch Podcast with your host, Jamila Souffrant. As a money expert who walks her talk, she helps brave Journeyers like you get out of debt, save, invest and build real wealth. Join her on the Journey To Launch to financial freedom in five, four, three, two, one.

Jamila Souffrant 0:54

Journey To Launch is supported by First Republic Bank. Relationships really matter in your life journey AND financial journey. A lot of banks have great offers to attract new clients, but what about their existing clients? First Republic is always focused on creating and nurturing long-term relationships. Devising strategies, not tactics, and master plans, not transactions. That’s why every client gets their own personal banker — a single point of contact to call, text or email at any time for any reason. I love that I feel valued and supported as a First Republic client, long after I’ve already opened up my account. They value their customers and it shows. First Republic calls it, "banking beyond the offer," and it’s part of their commitment to extraordinary service. Isn’t it time to discover what a long-term banking relationship can do for you? Visit firstrepublic.com today to learn more. That’s firstrepublic.com. Member FDIC, Equal Housing Lender.

If you want the episode show notes for this episode, go to journeytolaunch.com, or click the description of wherever you're listening to this episode. In the show notes, you'll get the transcribed version of the conversation, the links that we mentioned, and so much more. Also, whether you are An OG Journeyer or are brand new to the podcast, I've created a FREE Jumpstart Guide to help you on your financial freedom journey. It includes the top episodes to listen to, stages to go through to reach financial freedom, resources, and so much more. You can go to journeytolaunch.com/jumpstart to get your guide right now. Okay, let's hop into the episode.

Hey journeyers so I have a special treat as I always do because you know whoever I bring on the podcast for you to listen to to learn from is going to be special. This guest is no exception. We have on Anthony O'Neal and Anthony I'm just gonna read your bio right now. Anthony O'Neal is a number one national bestseller author, personal finance expert and host of the popular YouTube show and podcast, "The Table." He has helped millions of people to level up their finances, businesses, relationships and maximize their season of singleness. He teaches the principles he's used to change his own life, from homelessness and deep in debt at the age of 19, to the CEO of a company that has transformed the lives of millions. His passion for what he empowers people to accomplish is deeply personal. And I really can't wait to get your energy because you have so much energy Anthony on the podcast and learn from you and all you've been through so welcome.

Unknown Speaker 4:26

Oh Jamila, I'm excited. I was button say your name like sound like Jamaican because I know you're Jamaican. But I'm American. So I'm gonna be real like Jamila, hey,

Jamila Souffrant 4:35

and, and that is gonna sound really just fake it and then it's just like, let's not do that. Okay. There's so many things I want to talk to you about. And I want to go into your history just for the few people who may be listening who have no clue who you are. And then we're going to speed up and talk about the projects and things that you're working on now that could be of use and help people but the first thing is what stood out to me in your bio and then I kind of did some research was about that you were homeless in college. And I was just like, I need to hear more about the story because how did you go from that to where you are now? And I know that's a big story, but like, what led you to become homeless? Can you share that background?

Unknown Speaker 5:14

Yeah, you know, lack of information, lack of exposure. And believe it or not, people gonna get upset when I say this over spiritual parents. That's what led me to being homeless. When I say, lack of exposure, lack of knowledge, lack of an over spiritual parents, you know, I grew up in a very strong Christian whole, like, church and God in Christ where we went to church. Every single day, there was no breaks, there was no, okay. We're gonna take off on Tuesday, I was like, No, I go to school, I come home, I do my homework. By six o'clock, we're heading to the church. I come back at 10 o'clock. That's every single day. But Saturdays and Sundays on Saturdays, we get up and we go evangelize in the streets. Then we come back home, I got a little bit of time off. Then Sundays, we got three services in the morning, come home, eat dinner at 1230 Dinner at lunchtime, then we go back to church Sunday night. And so I didn't really have the parents who taught me how to win with my money. They told me Hey, whenever you get a job, you don't give 10% to the Lord and the other 90% Don't come ask me for shoes. Don't come ask me for prom stuff. Don't come ask me for anything. You got the money, you go do it. But they never taught me the difference between what's a credit card and what's a debit card. They never explained to me a credit score. They simply say Yo, when you graduate high school, go to college, spend four years there, go spend 40 years on a good job with good benefits. And hopefully you'll be able to retire living on at least 75 60% of your income and keep the credit score clean. And so when I graduated high school, all I had was simply this a lot of wisdom when it comes to the spiritual walk, but no wisdom and knowledge when it comes to the practical world. I mean, I never kissed a woman in school. I've never been out in the day because my parents is like, no, that's the devil. And so when I left home when I graduated high school, I'll never forget, my biological mom and my stepdad and my siblings lived in San Diego, California, my biological dad and step mom, where I spent my high school season that lived in federal North Carolina. I graduated on a Thursday night. I was in California on a Friday night. And I was going off and living on my own

Jamila Souffrant 7:34

for the first time, right. So you were sheltered and kind of kept in this bubble. And now you're out into the world.

Unknown Speaker 7:40

Couldn't do none. I couldn't go to the mall with my boys. You know, back then when we were growing up, we want to go to the mall just to look at the beautiful ladies just we ain't shopping. We just we just watch it. I watch it. And I couldn't do none of that because my parents were very big on, you know, in the Christian world, protecting your spirit, which I which I totally understand. Don't get it twisted. Now that I'm older and wiser. But back then I didn't really enjoy my youthfulness. I didn't really get exposed to different things. My parents were trying to protect me, which I totally understand. But when I graduated high school, Jimmy Lam be real with you. The first day I walked onto the college campus, right? Your boy was Buck. Wow. I literally walked on the college campus. I wish your podcasters could see my face right now. When I first stepped onto the college campus. I literally looked from left all the way to the right. And I saw the most beautiful ladies in the world. I'm talking about black and Puerto Rican, black and white. I'm seeing all these beautiful ladies and I'm like I am free. I can do whatever I want to do. And so I'm trying to highlight every single lady and I met this one particular young lady. I can't remember her name because she kind of like hurt my nerves. But yeah, when I first met her, I was like, Yo, how you doing? And she was like, hey, Papi, and I was like yo, Bobby Oh girl, that calm down, calm down. And she was looking at me. Shouldn't it be from head to toe? And she said, Yo, you got on a Walmart shirt with some Levi's jeans and some Payless Timberlands, not Timberlands, fingerless and she said I don't date broke man. She said so whenever you get some money, come back and holla at me. And so I was like, Yo, I got you. And so I'll never forget that time because when I was walking on to the college campus, and Jamil you remember this back in the days you know the very first day on the college campus was nothing but banks it was nothing but a whole bunch of people trying to get you into credit card debt and financing this and they getting you in with a free T shirts and pieces. So to make this long story short, they definitely want to respect your podcasts and give some some practical wisdom and knowledge. I racked up about $35,000 in student loan, student loan debt, credit card debt and furniture debt within us six months of me being 18, six months of me graduating high school, the very first credit card I got was $500. I maxed that out in 13 hours, Red Lobster for 150 bucks, 100 Flowers calm for 150 bucks and $200 on a Dooney and Bourke purse, all for that same young lady who told me she don't date broke man, and I can't remember her name today. And so I made a dumb decision in college, unfortunately, and it cost me my college experience in my career. So I got kicked out of school. A little right before then my mom and dad had just told me my mom and stepdad, he just told me, Hey, you don't need a credit card. You know, that's, that's not the life that you want to go down. I say you I'm a grown man, mind your business. So me and my father got into a huge argument. Because I told my mom minor business. I'm a grown man. It was like, Yo, this our house, only grown men and this house is me. Because I'm paying bills, you ain't doing nothing. And so I get kicked out of school. And when I go home, I thought I was going home. But my father said not get out. You said you're a grown man grown man doesn't come back home. Both of my parents were aligned. There was like, Yo, if we allow Anthony to come back to North Carolina, he won't grow and he won't mature. We told him a friend to avoid these things that he that he decided to do. Now he needs to live with those consequences. So I called all my friends. I even called the young ladies that I tried to impress not one person offered me a place to lay my head. Not one person offered me a place to take a shower. Not even one person offered me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some water. And so the age of 19 I'm homeless sleeping in the back of my car in a Walmart parking lot off a highway 76 in Oceanside, California, Monday through Friday, I'm taking you know baths at a Boys and Girls Club or the YMCA Saturdays and Sundays, you know, I can't take a shower. But on this one particular day, I met this young lady at the mall, because I was out there looking for a job. And we had knew each other from when I went to middle school in California. And she was like, Yo, why don't you come by the house chill out with us. And everybody watched badboys I was like, Yo, okay, yeah. But I was, I needed to take sharp, everything was closed. So what I did is I took the bucket, out of the back seat out of the out of the trunk of my car, I took the Dawn dish detergent, out of the back of my car, what I used to wash my car, and I filled it up, and I got in the backseat of my car. And I was washing myselfc with the Dawn Dish Detergent, so wouldn't be stink going over this young lady's house. And when I saw myself in the rearview mirror, that's when my whole life shifted. I literally was naked physically, with soap suds from my neck all the way down. And I was naked it spiritually. And I emotionally broke down. And I said, "Yo neither sides of my family are rich, but neither side of them are broke neither. Why in the world," and I didn't say in the world, I don't want to cuss on your show, I said, "why in the world, in my here?" And that's when I just told God, like, "Yo, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of impressing people. I'm tired of living in the backseat of my car. I'm tired of holding up the sign asking if I can get $5 just get something to eat. And people are judging me and looking at me thinking I'm trying to buy some weed or buy some drugs or do something crazy, but I'm just trying to survive." And I literally manned up and said, "God, if you get me out of this car, I'm not going to be perfect. I'm going to make mistakes, but I guarantee you I will not come back here." And he said the first thing is you got to come back to me. The second thing is you got to go home and apologize to your father to your mom and tell them you're not a grown man. You're a young man who desires to be a grown man. And they need to give you the wisdom. And Jamila did just that. And my father looked at me and he apologized. He said Hey, son, I'm sorry. So what are you sorry about? He said, I'm sorry for not teaching you what you needed to know about money. So that started my journey of really, really changing my whole life. That day my dad gave me a Dave Ramsey budget for him. I looked up Dave Ramsey and I started looking at like Robert Kiyosaki with the Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I started listening to John Maxwell and all these different kinds of people. And my parents couldn't teach me something that they didn't know. So I went out there and started learning for myself. And I saw there was two routes of building wealth, right? You have the Robert Kiyosaki way the grant cardones way, you know, and then you have the Dave Ramsey's way in the Mark Cuban's way one side is OPM other people's money, use it, keep your credit score up Cool, great. The other side was no debt build wealth slowly, but it's your wealth and sounds like yo, okay, but I kind of liked the the no debt route because within the black community, we have a lot but we don't own much. And I was like, Yo, I actually want to be an owner. And I actually want true financial freedom, which means I will move slower, but everything that I have I own. So I started doing more research. And to make a long story short, today, I'm debt free, I had the opportunity to work with Dave for about seven years of my life. And now I'm just traveling around the world teaching millennials, minorities and singles, how to maximize their single season, how to avoid debt, pay off the debt and build true and lasting well.

Jamila Souffrant 15:21

Wow, what a story and one of the things and it seems like you you answered it was this idea of almost forgiveness on both sides that and you said in a previous interview that they taught you everything about God, the Word of God, but not how to handle your money, which you explained. And part of that was almost just like they didn't prepare you like most of us were not prepared. But I think it's beautiful to see that you. But they also realize that and it sounds like forgiveness is also a big step. I'm think for you, it seemed and for anyone listening about what was not told to them, maybe how they felt set up to fail when they were pushed out into the world not ready for what the world had to show them. So I think I think again, it's just like a powerful, really powerful story. And I can hear the influence and growing up with a preacher and Pastor like in the way that you speak. So it seems that even though maybe what you were learning spiritually how you were raised, and it helped you financially, it almost feels like the skill sets that you have now to use your voice in a powerful way. Like you learned that through the environment you were raised in, and that is now able to change the lives of so many people. So I want to talk a little bit about you returning I love actually that you said you return back to God, I think a lot of that then informs what you do next with your 20s. So can you explain like what that time was like? Like, how did you know that you wanted to teach about financial freedom and get into this space of leadership? And then you also merge that with? I know being in the church more? So can you talk about that?

Unknown Speaker 16:56

Yeah, when I got back home, right, I got three jobs, I got a job working for a collection company. Jimmy Lee, I was scared. When I tell you I was scared. I was scared because I'm collecting for credit card companies, one of the credit card companies that I was collecting for I owe them. And so you know, as a bill collector, you know, you hit that screen and you don't know what name is coming up next. And it's automatically dialing and I'm sitting there sweating bullets, do not let my name come up on this green or anyone else's screen in here. Right. And so I'm doing that in the morning. I'm calling people. And I'm hearing people's cry. I'm hearing people's stories. I'm hearing people who literally just didn't have the knowledge, they didn't have the wisdom. And they went through life. And they're like, Yo, my credit card was an emergency and non emergency turned into a huge situation. Now I owe 10,000 15,000 5000. And so I'm doing that in the morning, right? And then I get off there and I'm going washing cars afterwards. And now that I'm delivering newspapers with my father, and I was like, you know, there has to be a different life than this. Like, there has to be a different way of building wealth. Like I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. And so I'm sitting out the beach. So in Oceanside, California, it's literally called Oceanside. Because it's going outside of the ocean. I guess it's a beautiful city. And every Friday, all of our boys my boys back then they don't like me now cuz I don't deal with you know that. Um, and so we will all wash our cars on Fridays, and we'll go out to the pier. We'll go out to Oceanside and we'll pull up and Jamil I'm sitting there watching all of us pull up in BMWs Mercedes S classes, Ford explorers fully loaded. One of them had a Range Rover back then. And I mean, we're all 1920 years old. All of us either lived with our parents in the basement or in the guest bedroom. Half of them lived in a house with like six other guys. But we all are asking you can get $5 on go to McDonald's to get something to eat. You know, can I get $10 I put gas on the car to get home. And I'm sitting I'm like, yo,

Unknown Speaker 19:09

I'm sitting in the car this day with with my best friend still to this day. I say bro, I mean, we serve a God that owns it all we serve a God that wants us to live an abundant life. Not a paycheck to three days before paycheck, God. Everyone says people living paycheck to paycheck, actually, people are living Friday to like the next Thursday, and trying to make it to the next paycheck. And that was me. I got paid every two weeks but my money only last me about five days. And I said God has asked me more than this. Because I can't serve a God that that loves me that so he wants me to have exceedingly and abundantly and um, what am I doing? And he was like, bro, I'm tired. It's life too, bro. And I was like, Yo, so me him started our own little Bible study just really started studying the Bible. around money. And I literally got convicted. I turned on Dave Ramsey one day, right? And I'm gonna be honest with you, I hated the guy. I was like, just do just call me stupid because I have a credit card. He, he just said, I'm a goofball. And I'm dumb. And I turned him off. And then one day, the Holy Spirit told me was a Hey, turn on the radio, I turned on a radio and I left it on the channel with Dave came comes on. And Dave just started preaching. And I said, Oh, and literally, God spoke through Dave never thought I will meet the guy, I never thought that I would. But be connected with them eventually. Again, God told me more people need to learn what you're learning now. So go learn in this space, and teach from your experience. Don't try and be the expert, learn, become a student and just teach what I'm teaching you, and really help people avoid debt, get out of debt, and really see that truly, the borrower is slave to the lender. You know, God gave me something when they say, Isn't it funny that you work Monday through Friday, you put in labor, to give the fruits of your labor to someone else on Saturday, and Sunday and Friday evening, to come back home to your family broke, to come back home to your family, and you don't have nothing for them. But you helped Wells Fargo, which is a family's last name, build for their family, but you're not building for your family. You're not building for the kingdom. So he said, stop it. Pay off your debt, build for your family, and build for the Kingdom. And that's exactly what I did. During that time. He was like, Yo, use your singleness wisely, steward this season? Well, I don't have any kids, Jimmy, you have three, you know, I can't wait to have them. I don't have a wife. And I really started feeling like yo, if you don't steward this single season correctly, you may join the 52% of marriages that don't work, because you didn't maximize this season correctly. You're out here trying to impress all these ladies and press all these friends have all these nice things. But you'll get to your marriage. And you'll say No, you'll get to your marriage, and you bring all this baggage and debt and drama in issues. Because you didn't steward it well. So literally, some people call me a preacher. And I mean, I am an ordained preacher. But really, I'm just passionate about delivering God's message. Because there's over 2000 scriptures in the Bible about money. God doesn't say debt is a sin, he just says it's not a good idea. And I'm from for me, I'm like, okay, cool. If it's not a good idea, I'm just gonna avoid it. And so that's really my passion behind it.

Jamila Souffrant 22:46

So you obviously work to pay off that debt that you accumulated while you were in college. And then you started to make money, right. And now you built since then, you know, we're kind of fast forwarding now. But you've built since then a very successful company and brand that talks about money that helps people you've wrote books about this national bestsellers. So talk a bit about because I think there's a part of this story. Now. That's about how you're going from being homeless to hearing someone that you admire on the radio, even if you take the name Dave Ramsey out of it just because I've had this experience to like before I got to where I am today, kind of like listening to people on the radio, seeing people on TV and now knowing those people personally, right, like how does one get from that? How does one listening to this podcast watching us go from wow, like this is inspiring. And I want to one day be in Jamila and Anthony circle, or at least I want to do what they're doing, how does one jump and make that quantum leap? Because I think that's what most people want to get a handle on. If they if they are that ambitious.

Unknown Speaker 23:48

Man, it's gonna be two real things to go from where you are today, to where you want to go tomorrow. And discipline is gonna be one of those discipline is is the bridge from where you are today to where you want to go tomorrow. And when you have discipline, you got to follow it up with the vision. And everyone keeps like everyone keeps Ah, I got a vision isn't a vision for like a business note. You need to have a vision for your life. You need to cut off the phone. You need to tell your boyfriend, tell your girlfriend, tell your kids tell. Tell your husband, tell your wife, tell everyone tell social media, get off the clubhouse, get off Instagram, you need to spend one hour inside of your bedroom, turn off the lights. And I'm a spiritual guy. So let me give you two practical ways. If you're spiritual, you need to sit down and talk to God like God, what is your vision for my life? If you're married, you need to get with you know your spouse and say alright, what is the vision for our family? If you're single like myself, that you need to get in the closet like by yourself, and I mean this cut off all distractions and sit there and just say you know what, what do I want to do? Where do I want to go? Here's why vision is so so important. Vision is your navigation when it comes to life. A vision answers all of your questions when it comes to life, a vision. If you meet a young man, if you meet a young lady, if they do not align with your vision, that's the easy note. And you don't have to tell them no say, hey, you know what this isn't aligned with where I'm going in life. You're a great person, you're a great individual, and just not for me, but I'm praying for you, I love you, God bless you, you know, a job, a business a career opportunity. If it doesn't align with your vision, it's an easy, no. But if it does align with your vision, it's an easy yes, I really do believe that the reason why most marriages do not work, if you really, really do the research, this is not stats, this is my opinion. It's not because of the lack of money. Because people have the money. It's the lack of vision, and the two vision system in a lie. So his vision may have been this with the money, her vision may have been that with no money. And if they would have had that conversation, they never seen our health friend, we don't we don't align in this area. And it would have been no marriage, and our marriage rate was higher. And so if you really want to get in a circle, like us, and another circles, you know, number one is you got to have discipline, because discipline is going to make sure that once you do have the vision, you will stick to it. I'm gonna give you a bonus one, because this this is the real one, you got to be willing to be uncomfortable. To stick to your vision, you have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.

Jamila Souffrant 26:33

This Black History Month as we honor the trailblazing historical figures. LinkedIn wants to also celebrate and support and recognize those black entrepreneurs who are working to build a better tomorrow. LinkedIn is sharing the success stories of these black entrepreneurs that have come to inspire us all. Head to LinkedIn to learn about Jason Maiden, founder of the sneaker company, super heroic, who was first inspired as a kid after seeing a pair of stylish sneakers that made him feel like a superhero. Jason hopes kids, especially from his hometown, feel the same when they wear his sneakers. Here about ilesa Jean Charles founder of healthy roots dolls, whose passion spark when she noticed none of the dolls she saw looked like her. LinkedIn wants to ensure all black entrepreneurs can pursue their passions. So LinkedIn is donating $500,000 to gravity.org, and digital undivided to help black entrepreneurs fund and grow their businesses. You know, as a black entrepreneur myself, it is important to get the support we need so we can thrive. Supporting black businesses is a win for everyone. Not only does it help circulate money within our communities, but it helps the overall economy. Learn and connect with black entrepreneurs like you, Lisa and Jason that are charting a new path and share how you are doing the same@linkedin.com LinkedIn. Welcome professionals.

Unknown Speaker 28:05

See nothing extraordinary happens inside of our comfort zones. You know true story. I'm gonna say real quickly. Some people get a little sick when I say this, but I was in my junior year of high school, and it was our day we didn't die. We didn't die sick frogs back back then in 2000. We didn't die say for us we bought frogs. And so my teacher brought us a frog. She put the frog inside the pot to cover it but top she's alright you guys can go from zero to Tamra and go to soli.

Jamila Souffrant 28:32

Oh my gosh. I didn't do that in high school.

Unknown Speaker 28:37

Okay, Yo, listen, it's a great it's a nasty star but it has a great point. You go from zero to two. The frog is around two to four frog is jumping around four to six. The frog chilled. We sit for about 10 minutes we come back. We go from six to eight. The frog went to sleep. Bo from eight to 10. Unfortunately, we boiled the frog. I'm an emotional guy, right? Because I'm Christian Christian so Thou shalt not kill. So I raised my hand. And I asked the teacher like yo, what just happened? And she's asked a great question. Probably the best question you've asked all semester ao. And she said, if you know anything about frogs, frogs get comfortable in the heat. When I was in the back of my car, God told me, you've just become the frog. So you're not sleep. He said the Frog didn't die in his sleep. The frog died in his comfort zone. The reason why some of us are not reaching our vision, if we do have a vision, the reason why some of us are not paying off our debt or building a wealth or starting a business or getting a promotion or a job or even getting into a healthy relationship is because you are not willing to be uncomfortable. So you're allowing the very same thing that is making you comfortable, kill all of your dreams kill all the potential that God has put inside of you. So if you want to get inside of our circle, you got to put into work like us, you know, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable for a season, so that you can accomplish certain things in life. So, got to have discipline, you got to get a clearer vision. And when you get that vision, I need you to ask yourself why? And ask yourself five times. And when you start getting emotional, when tears start coming out of your eyes, that's when you know you have an answer. Because if your why doesn't make you cry, then the price of commitment, the price of being uncomfortable, will make you cry, and you'll go back to your comfort zone, and you will not get in circles that can and will change your life.

Jamila Souffrant 30:44

Hmm, that's powerful, because it is literally that. And a lot of the work is internal work. I mean, the discipline part can also be internal, right? Like it's the discipline, to shut off the distractions and to do the internal work. But a lot of this stuff like the ship's even though we're talking about money, and budgeting and paying off debt, which requires physical activity, a lot of the things that will let us be successful in those endeavors are the way we view ourselves, our skill sets, just the internal work that it takes. I love that we're actually touching on both the spiritual side and practical side of it. But it's important that people know that a lot can change, like you can change your life with a thought and an intention. Now, obviously, you have to follow through on that. You're not just good enough to think it. But I love that you're actually highlighting that when it comes to visioning. Right? So what you're now doing, you're in your season of singleness, you're preparing yourself and you're maximizing the season. Can you talk about what that means? So I have a lot of single friends, or people who are listening. And because I actually interview, sometimes people who are married, and sometimes they're on the podcast together, and they're talking about reaching their goals together, and I myself am married, I'll get some single people that come to me and say, Okay, but what about the single person because it's easier for them? Because it's two of them, or that person had a husband that could help support that goal, why they did this thing? It's just me. So how does one maximize this season for themselves as to preparing for the life that they want?

Anthony O'Neal 32:16

Yeah, that's a good question. And you know, I have I have a course coming out here soon. So it's really talking about that. And when I say maximize your single season, what I say is pretty much the spiritual word is steward, right? How are we stewarding this single season? How are we using this season and maximizing every opportunity? Are we building the correct relationships? Or are we just dating people? I know for me, I've actually stopped trying to date, what I'm doing is and the Bible says very clearly He who finds his wife finds his great thing, right? So when you really study that Scripture is I'm not going to look for my wife. What I'm doing is I'm just doing what God has called me to do. I am storing this single this single season well, and as I am on my vision journey, right? If I find her God is good, and I'm going to find her, because think about it. Have you ever was just washing your clothes, doing your normal stuff. And when you go inside the pockets, you find a $5 bill, and you're like, well look at God, this was like from a few months ago. And that's what finding means is for me, as I'm focusing on what is my vision? What am I called to do right now, I am called to help people maximize their single season, get out of debt, build wealth. And while I'm doing that is I'm preparing myself to be a husband and a father. My ultimate vision for my life is to make sure that during this season, I want to set myself up to where I can say yes to my wife, and say yes to my kids. So that means during this season, I got to say no to girls, who are just friends. And if they say no, and if I say no to them, and they get upset, that just means that not my wife did not align with where I'm going. And so I'm really passionate about this whole let's maximize this single season. How are you growing spiritually? How are you connecting with God? How are you benefiting the kingdom and serving the kingdom? You know then to it's like, you know, hey, you know what, what are you who are you at your core, you know, one of the things Jamila when you get there, like on our level of stuff, right? There's so much on this level, you know, you're looking at other people like oh, man, look at what they're doing. I need to do that. Oh, man, they they got this. Oh, hey, how come I wasn't invited on this show? But it's like so now it's like you getting all confused internally net your Cory like, maybe I need to talk like this. Maybe I need to dress like this. Maybe I need to act like this. And no, God fearfully and wonderfully made each and every single one of us and at our core is who God wants us to be. In every single day. I got to remind myself, this is how God wired you. He wired you for these particular group of people. He wired you to do this particular assignment. So maximize the that give stay true to who you are at your core. And the wealth will come if you influence and impact people that brings income before I was chasing income, and I wasn't influencing or impacting people, and that's why my income was fluctuating. And so I'm teaching Millennials how to maximize their season. How do you influence impact? People? Don't just chase the bag, the bag will come? Who can you serve? How can you help? How many trees? Can you produce that bear fruit? Oh, so so it's like, now you're gonna record? And then you know, man, I talked about so much but maximizing Seagull season is how do we take advantage of this opportunity? I refuse to say yes. To every single girlfriend. I refuse to say yes, I buy you a little bit time purse by the Gucci purse, I buy you the Chanel purse, I'll take you on this vacation. We can do this. And I say Yes, over here. I racked up all this debt. I have this amazing credit score. And then when I get to my wife, she's like, well, babe, can we take the kids over here? No. They can we have this kind of wedding? No, baby, can we do this? No. Why is it? No? Well, let me tell you why. Because when I was single, I didn't maximize a single season, I didn't really take advantage of the opportunity to really grow spiritually to get out of my comfort zone to eliminate the dead to build my physical body because let's be real, okay, you're attracted to your husband, your husband is attracted to you. I want my wife to be like, good God when she sees me, you know, and I want to say hello Bay Bay, you know, I will I need to cut up the music when the kids are home because I want me and my wife to be so in love with each other from a spiritual from a mental and from a physical perspective. And so maximize your single season is why are you not in the gym? Okay, why are you not eating healthy? You know, why are you not going to see therapy? Why why do you not have a vision for your life. And let me say this to from single brothers listening, and those for the single ladies. Do not date a grown man if he if he can't tell you where he's going. Do not date a grown man and brothers. If you do not know where you're going in life, if you do not have a least a basic vision of where you're going, you don't need to be dating. Because what is she following? What is she partnering with? She doesn't know what so y'all just dating just because y'all look good. And y'all just you know what to do yellow think Nah, man. So for me, I'm teaching singles how to maximize, let's use this season correctly. And if you maximize this single season, you will build wealth, if you maximize a single season, you will start a business. If you maximize the single season, you will be a great wife, a great husband, a great father and a great mother.

Jamila Souffrant 37:45

Yeah, so it's important to for people like for me, like when I'm hearing that. And while I am very now the things that I'm doing to upkeep whether it is like my body, it's like for me, right, but it benefits like, it makes me feel better. And how I approach the world, how I approach my work, it gives me more energy. So I think it's important to that the person when you're working on yourself in this single season, even if you are coupled already, you're married already, that you're still doing the work for you. It's not to attract someone else or to impress someone else. And it's at your own level and standard EBD, right, because there is are some unrealistic expectations, I believe that are put on us in society. And just like not everyone wants a six pack that everyone wants to be assigned to that doesn't have to be the goal, right? It's more about I just want to feel good, or feel confident in the way I look. And so I think it's important to do that for yourself first. But doing that then attract and get you ready for what who that right person is who will respect and love you, wherever they meet you on that. Because you I think personally you can still be on your path and still meet your person if you are showing that you are working towards something, right?

Unknown Speaker 38:54

Yep. In one of my courses, right? I'm talking about, hey, don't date potential. But do date potential when you see the fruit of their potential. So that means while they're on their journey, do you see the fruit of their labor? are they producing something? Are they on the path? And you see them moving forward? Or are they dissolved talk? And that's one thing I'm really teaching millennials and minorities and singles like, hey, once you get that vision, just produce a fruit. That's it. Just focus on producing fruit. And if you produce fruit, you are a young man and a young woman of character integrity, and you are going somewhere, you know, and I think single people, we just get comfortable. I go I'm young, I got enough time. I don't have any responsibilities, but you will have some responsibilities soon. You will if you if you want to get married, have a whole family that now your past. You know the caliber of your future is determined by the choices you make today. So if you didn't make the right choices tomorrow that's going to impact your future. So make the right ones and maximize this season.

Jamila Souffrant 39:57

Yeah, and I'm just thinking like, you know, so I'm an older millennial. And when I was in college or even high school, you know, we didn't have in high school we didn't have I didn't have a cell phone. It wasn't until like college. And it wasn't even like, you know, there was none of this, like iPhones out it was something totally different. I have a sidekick, I think, yeah, it's like, Okay, I'm sorry. But that was after actually college, I didn't have any college. So I look at I look at now and see the culture we're in, you know, like city like the city girl like culture and hot boy summer kind of thing. And for like me, and people who don't get what that is. It's just like, there is culture that we're in that is like, based on consumption and showing our worth, almost exporting our worth, to physical things. And I find now that like, I have kids, and I'm looking at, like, what people are expecting in the dating scene. As young 20 year olds, like, you know, both sides expecting a lot, like, monetarily wise, monetary wise, I'm wondering how they're going to be able to sustain that and reach your financial goals. Like, if you're expecting that you're going on dates that cost 200 $400. I'm thinking about my sons. And I'm like, obviously, I want them to be respectful of a girl that they like, and I want them to treat them and take them out. But the expectations now that I think certain segments of society have on what that looks like, is pretty unrealistic. And I'm just like, how are these young kids going to be financially Okay? When they're expected to spend all their money on things that are not even gaining value? Or it's going into debt? Or who knows scamming to do the things that they're doing? So what do you think of that?

Unknown Speaker 41:36

Oh, no, don't don't, don't get me started, you know, because, ladies, they hate me when I talk about dating, because I talked about dating on the budget. And I agree with you, I think that, again, it goes back to the vision, right? If your vision is I want to eliminate debt, if your vision is I want to start a business, if your vision is, I want to start building wealth or starting investing more get into real estate, then you have to stick to that vision. And the last thing you want to do is say you know what Bay, I'm gonna take you out to this restaurant, some cost us $200. Now, what you did is you spent $200 on a date, that doesn't gain you compound interest that you do not know if you're going to get a return of your investment from her. And now you sacrifice investing into your vision getting closer to your vision. Now, I'm not saying be be cheap. And don't don't treat our Queens with respect, or Queen's don't expect to be respected. But what I am saying is, do not so for me, I made great money, but I will not spend no more than 50 to $100 on the first day, just want to know, because I don't know if you're if we're aligned, I don't know if you can contribute to where I'm trying to go in life. So what I'm gonna do is, I'm going to get very creative with the first date, you're going to feel like it's a great experience, you're going to remember that first date because I'm put thought and effort into it, which in my opinion, is a great first date because now you see my character. Now you see if I'm hilarious. You see if I'm crazy, like you see if I'm thinking if I'm listening, like I'm gonna get the guys and look to this is what I do, ladies, don't none of y'all hit me in DMS because I'm remember so if you started my damn because you heard me Jamila show, I'm not gonna respond, because you already know my secret. But for me, this is what I do. On the first day, I talked to him for a couple of times on the phone, I have my notepad on my phone every time we talk and she says something right, again, maximizing student my single season correctly. I'm using my ears, I'm writing down certain things. Well, I love the color red. Oh, man, I really love this. I like this, I actually enjoy this kind of food. So I'm writing it down on my notepad. So on the first day when I'm doing like, okay, she loves this color. Let me get creative with this. She says she loves that. Let me get creative with that. And I'm literally putting inside of my budget. Anyone can take you to a to $300 restaurant and put it on a credit card and pay interest on food that will leave your system in the next 24 hours. But it takes creativity in a real man is a real man. It takes creativity and in mature man like yo, let me listen. And let me get creative and put some thought and effort into it. That doesn't cost me a lot of money. But it does cost me time. And for me, my time is more valuable than my money. And so I'm teaching single especially single brothers, like Hey, bro, just get creative. Stick to your dating budget. If if your dating budget is 50 bucks, yo, make that 50 bucks feel like 500 in the right woman but like yo, babe, thank you so much the wrong woman like yeah, what are we doing here? And that's just your last date with her. And then I tell ladies like Hey, be treated like a queen. Don't worry about the cause. But pay attention to the effort and to the thought and the heat to listen to you. Because men need to learn how to listen better. So if he listened while y'all were talking on the phone and however you met and the man put in effort and he showed you without asking you Any questions, that's a solid brother. Because one, he's starting this single season well, two, he's showing that yo, I'm a good man with the budget, like, I'm gonna stick within my means. And if you trust me, and if we go further than you can trust me with the finances, you will know, I'm not gonna live live above my means, I'm gonna be a good steward of the finances for my family. And for me, that's what single people need to worry about is a man with a vision, a woman who can see vision, two different things, a man who has a vision, and a woman who can see vision,

Jamila Souffrant 45:32

and, and a woman with a vision. Because, you know, we have visions, too.

Unknown Speaker 45:35

I thought, yeah, you're right, you're right. I'm just talking on the dating perspective, right. And she makes sure that she can see the vision of demand, but also come to the table with the vision because John's vision is got to be aligned.

Jamila Souffrant 45:49

So that this leads me to when you are dating someone, so for my single people who are dating, when do they bring up like, how are you with your money? How much debt are you in, so they make sure that they are not getting themselves too deep? And something they can't back out of?

Unknown Speaker 46:05

yourself? Some good questions, boy, oh, wow, man, this good question. You know, this is probably like, in the top five questions on Macs, right. So I did a whole mini ebook on this, they can go to my website, Anthony calm and get it. But it to answer your question directly, I believe you need to talk about finances before you enter into a committed relationship. So it doesn't have to be the first two or three conversations when the first two or three days no, no. But when you all arise to the point where you see your feelings are getting higher for each other, and you are thinking about exclusively dating or get into a court ship, or committed relationship, whatever that definition is for you. That's why you need to have that conversation. Because here's why what you don't want to do is fall in love with each other, you do not want him to choose you. And then you too are not aligned when it comes to division for your money. You know, one person like for me, I am on the no debt route, I don't want I don't do credit cards, I don't finance things other than just my mortgages and my real estate, I can't be with a woman who says no, I want to get reward points. And I want to rack up credit cards, what we're good, it's not gonna work, you know. And so we need to have that money conversation up front. So that way, I'm not falling in love, you're not falling in love. Because two things gonna happen. First thing is one of us is going to sacrifice and one of us can be miserable. It's just not going to work like oh my gosh, like, I man, I really want to get a credit card. But Anthony, he doesn't want to and he teaches people so he can't have one. And I kind of do it. I don't like it. And so that's crazy. Neither one of us deserve to be uncomfortable in that kind of situation. And then number two, we're just going to separate. So why not just have that hard conversation up front? Before we even get to that point. But there are certain ways to have that conversation that doesn't turn off people. And I'm telling you, there's a lot of different ways I don't ask them what your credit score, I don't ask them how much money you make. But there are certain ways you can have a conversation like one is like, hey, let's talk about money. Did your parents ever talk to you about money growing up? Like what was that financial conversation? Or hey, what is one thing that you really see yourself doing in the next five years financially? Like what is one major accomplishment that you want to do? And when you can start having those conversations, they're open ended to where it's a conversation, and it's not an interview? Like, hey Jamila, what's your credit score? Know, you're asking her a question that he or she would then return to, you know, what, what about you? Now we're having a dialogue, when we you start that conversation, the conversation will get deeper. But go to my website, there's like a 15 page document that say, Hey, here's how you do it here to do here to don'ts. Here's some questions, practices, questions. And ladies, I'm telling you, you'll love it because I give you the inside secret to my brain. And I talk about money, like this is how I want my woman to come to me about money.

Jamila Souffrant 49:00

And I mean, I feel like we can have a whole nother conversation about the debt thing because what just stood out for me is when you said you will believe in being debt free not using debt, but you wouldn't really want to be a lighter date someone seriously who's okay with that. And like, for me, I'm also a believer of you being debt free for the most part, but I spent on my credit card and paid off everyone.

Anthony O'Neal 49:21

I'm cool with that.

Jamila Souffrant 49:22

Right? But it's just interesting. It's like yours also, like know yourself, right? So someone like you, Anthony is very committed to this way and what you want, right? Versus like someone maybe it's, you know, depends on the situation kind of thing. And even though they may strongly be against it, like they're okay with it if it's helpful for them. And those are the conversations that you need to know about your partner or just about yourself and what you're willing to, to compromise on and what you're not, right, because a lot of times like we're not sure and then we're compromising on things that we actually hold dear to ourselves, or we don't want to be with someone who won't compromise on that issue. Right. So it's important to have really have these conversations

Unknown Speaker 50:01

Absolutely, you know, and that's one thing I was dating a young lady recently. And she asked that question. She said, I have a credit card. I said, okay, cool. So like, I don't hate people who have credit cards, because I do believe there are at least like 20% of people in the world who can actually handle a credit card. 80% of the people were living paycheck to paycheck, they can't write. And so if I ever married someone, and she says, Yo, I like credit cards, but I do not carry a balance. I would tell her listen, our CPA is going to pay that credit card off every single week. So like, I cannot carry a balance, and I cannot pay any interest. I cannot and I will not. If she's cool with that. I can budget with it. I don't want one. I don't need one. But if my wife is like, Yo, I, I just want this and you know,

Jamila Souffrant 50:49

kind of our points I got I'm trapped with what if I take we were flying for free to the Maldives? Come on.

Unknown Speaker 50:55

Oh, wait. That's a whole nother conversation we have about points and stuff like it.

Jamila Souffrant 50:59

I mean, that's why I do it. Like the only reason I do is for the points. I mean, I haven't been able to travel that much. But it's like I have so much money and free flights and hotels really to spend.

Unknown Speaker 51:09

Yeah, listen, I'm all for it. And it's like one of the things that I teach people, it's like, Yo, I'll be honest, you know, now that I'm really out on my own. It's, I do agree that there are people who can steward a credit card correctly. I don't speak to minorities. I speak to the majority in this situation, the majority of the world do not even have $400 in their savings account. But they weren't credit card reward points. No.

Jamila Souffrant 51:38

Yeah, yeah. I think there's definitely a level to that there's a level to that. And it's not for everyone. Okay, wow, Anthony, this conversation was amazing. So it'd be respectful of our times, I just want everyone to find out where they can get more information about you. You mentioned your course, which full disclosure, I have now become an affiliate for because I just actually, for what Anthony and how Anthony teaches this stuff, if this resonated with you, I do want to like say like I know some people, I love that I can talk to people who are like upfront like this. I am God is first this is this is my path. And sometimes the conversations I have don't go that way. Right. And it's okay in terms of the person does not really put that in the forefront. But there are a lot of my journeys and listeners who this, this is what they want to hear this what they need to hear. And so I love that I can bring on different people to help give this kind of buffet of teaching styles and information. And so if this resonated with you, Anthony is going to tell you about his course, decided to become an affiliate of that course. And the URL is journey to launch comm slash Anthony, it will be in the description. But Anthony, please tell everyone more about what it is that you're opening up soon and what they can expect from it.

Unknown Speaker 52:48

Yes, I'm really excited. Again, thank you so much for partnering with me and I can't wait to have you on my show here. In the next month or two, she's going to kill a love her. But the title of my course is called the singles blueprint. It's eight pillars to maximize your single season gain clarity on your life's vision, and start building your legacy right now. We don't have to wait until we're married to really start growing up a little bit. It's really start maturing. I wish when I graduated high school, someone gave me a course like this, like, Hey, you're a single young man, you're a single young lady. Here's the eight things you really need to be focusing on. And I'm really bringing in some heavy hitters. My good friend, Tony Gaskins, Jr, is coming in to really talk about the dating part because I'm not a dating expert. This course is not going to teach you how to get a man how to get a Woman No, it's going to teach you like, hey, here are the eight things that you need to really master now that will help you build wealth that will help you start that business that will get you closer to God that will help you build your core and your stability for your life. So that when when God does bless you with that wife, when God does bless you that million dollars, you have the tools necessary you have the wisdom and knowledge to sustain them. So Tony Gaskins coming in. I've got my friend Kate warm, and she's coming in. I even got Jamal Miller and his wife who do the till you curriculum man, it's just it's just an amazing course. Very affordable for everyone to do it is we have the waiting list is right now I'm only selecting allowing a select group of people in because it's a eight week program. And every week, I am going to be going live talking to everyone inside of my course. And I'm bringing on some big people that's gonna really come on and really so into single people to really help us maximize this single season. I want to see more single people getting out of debt, building wealth, getting into healthy marriages, building healthy relationships that help them get to their goals as far as mentorships business ships, you name it so we're gonna really dive into how I have been able to really build my success. How I've been able to build my relationships like the Dave Ramsey show, John Maxwell's your stuff like that really teach you the secrets on how to maximize your single season. So check out the link If the course starts March 1, you want to sign up for the waiting list now because it's going to open up soon and I'm gonna sell out and when I sell out I'm not opening it up because I want to influence and impact people. I don't want to just sell a lot of courses

Jamila Souffrant 55:11

right love that. And again, you can go to journey to launch calm slash Anthony to sign up for the waitlist if you're listening to this before the course is open. Thank you so much, Anthony for sharing your knowledge and spending time with us today.

Unknown Speaker 55:22

Thank you so much. And thank you to everyone listening amazing show this is my top five for real

Jamila Souffrant 55:32

don't forget you can get the episode show notes for this episode by going to journey to launch comm or click the description of wherever you're listening to this and you can still grab your jumpstart guide for free to help you on your journey to financial freedom by going to journey to launch comm slash Jumpstart. If you want to support me and the podcast and love the free content and information that you get here, here are four ways that you can support me in the show. One, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast wherever you listen, whether that's Apple podcasts, that purple app on your phone, your Android device, YouTube, Spotify, wherever it is that you happen to listen, just subscribe so you are not missing an episode. And if you're happening to listen to this in Apple podcasts, rate review and subscribe there. I appreciate and read every single review. Number two follow me on my social media accounts. I'm at journey to launch on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And I love love love interacting with journeyers. They're three support and check out the sponsors of this show. If you hear something that interests you, sponsors are the main ways we keep the podcast lights on here. So show them some love for supporting your girl for and last but not least, share this episode this podcast with a friend or family member or co worker so that we can spread the message of Journey to launch. Alright, that's it until next week, keep on journeying journeyers